Wednesday, May 8, 2013

News Roundup: Utah "Lies" and Ohio Northern Gets a Media Boost

1. It's Quite Easy Bein' Green ( in MONEY)

The University of Utah Quinney School of Law is receiving $4.5 million in grant money from a Chicago-based environmental group to help pay for the school's brand new law school building that will resemble the nasty offspring of The Paper Chase and Bio-Dome because, uh, they need it?:

The grant is set to go toward elements like solar power, better insulation, rainwater collection and recycled materials. The idea is to guarantee a platinum LEED certification, a label denoting a high level of energy efficiency and regard for the environment.

Officials say the building would be the first law school center nationwide to get the certification.

Today's koan: is the last sentence a lie (like not true at all) or a "lie" (technically true, but bogus in spirit), and is there a difference?

Because no one who has eyes could forget the sheer LEED-platinum-striving beauty of Baltimore's new law school, which was planned way back in 2010. It's set to open in the fall, two years before Utah's.

And then there's California-accredited Monterey College of Law, which already won itself a Platinum medallion for one of its buildings.

And of course NYU's Wilf Hall already received the platinum designation for putting a forest on the roof.

I have to commend whatever "officials" (shame on keeping greatness anonymous!) bluffed the shitrag and told them it would be the first "law school center" (what does that even mean?) to achieve the platinum designation. Double bonus points for no one googling anything.

It's technically true that no current ABA-accredited law school has held classes entirely in a single building with platinum certification. And as we've seen from the employment statistics, it's the technical truth that matters. CASE DISMISSED. Just give them the check and shut up.

2. Who Needs Brochures When You've Got the Lima Media?
Check out this editorial some shill at Ohio Northern probably got the editor of The Lima News to write:

It is one of the smallest law schools in the Midwest, but consistently sees a high rate of graduates passing the bar exam on the first try.

Congratulations are in order to the most recent graduating class which saw 100 percent of December law graduates pass Ohio’s February 2013 bar examination on their first attempt.

If you actually look at the PDF, ONU had six (6) first-time takersFor real, this shitrag just published an editorial praising a law school for six people passing the bar. You just can't get this pub in other industries, folks. Notre Dame also went 6 for 6, and numerous schools had 100 percent: Duquesne, West Virginia, Michigan State, Cooley (Ha - J/K - they went 5/14), etc. Florida Coastal having two second-time takers pass is far more impressive than ONU getting six of its graduates to pass.

What's better than disproportional applause? Why, outright deception, of course!

What’s significant about the nine-month time frame is that it tends to favor top schools whose students often—in good times and bad—land jobs before graduation.

Ohio Northern University is among those top schools. Its College of Law opened its doors in 1885 and is the second oldest of Ohio’s nine law schools. It enrolls more than 285 students annually and has an enviable 12:1 student-to-faculty ratio. Most of all, it prides itself on not only educating students, but also ensuring the development of practical skills, morals, and leadership needed to be successful in the practice of law.

I do not know what's in this editor's kool-aid, but papa wants a taste!

Okay, here's Ohio Northern's LST Report. 3.1% worked at large firms (100+), 0% fed clerkship, 59.4% employment score, 20.8% unemployed, 20.8% government.

And it's a top school favored by the employment statistics! Can you believe someone actually wrote that sentence as a segue into a brochure pitch?

Hey, Lima News, do you think you could write my dating profile?!

No comments:

Post a Comment