Monday, June 26, 2017

The Fort Wayne Circle of Scam and the Million Dollar Community College Degree

Every American law school is required to have a library.  It's necessary, as law practice requires physically cracking open a book every now and then.  What did you nutless chickadees think this was, a PlayStation tournament?

In any event, what becomes of that golden pile of holy knowledge, that infinite supply of sacred legal wisdom only endowed upon those special enough to pay the tuition fees at an ABA accredited school?

Indiana Tech found a revolutionary solution to dispensing the wealth:
Ivy Tech Community College's Fort Wayne campus will soon have a new resource for students -- a law library made possible by a donation from Indiana Tech.
And when I say wealth, I mean it literally.  Labor economists have these whiz-bang theories that value human capital by seeing how earnings rise with additional training and education.  Inductively, then, we know that the value of a legal education is massive, since the earnings premium of a law graduate over a non-law graduate is over a million dollars.

Knowing that a legal education is worth a million dollars, what's the result if we could squeeze that same product into a shorter time frame, and earlier in the educational process?

Why, with those paralegal students about to pack the knowledge in like their brains are literally made of protein bars, we've developed the million dollar community college degree!  If yer 20 and basic English composition ain't yer cup o' dirt-flavored coffee, why not pick up Pennoyer v. Neff?  25-year-old single mother from Corn City struggling with Intro to Crim?  Fuck it and learn yourself the Roth test!

Endless applications, the law.  For years, the LSTC has supported integrating legal education at earlier levels of schooling, both to promote general knowledge and to develop a bad-ass corps of whip-smart paralegals ready to take low-level lawyer jobs, which they totally won't, because we're all cool about it. 

If it takes a fifth-tier law school dumping its books on the local community college to wind up operations without having to expense an extra dumpster to get there, so be it!

Here's to every community college getting itself a set of law books.  And remember, if you really want to get your students an edge, you'll full sets of Am Jur, the CJS, and the ALR.  Can't get 'em anywhere else.  Accept no substitutes!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

JD Advantage Job in Phoenix, Limitless Potential

Do you have an accomplished non-profit pimp academic leader in your life who needs to get off the couch and start minting money?  Have I got an opportunity for you!

The Phoenix School of Law Arizona Summit is looking for new leadership after Scamqueen Dean Shirley Mays' departure in February.

Here are the job requirements:

1.  Oversharing transparency!
Although having had impressive bar examination outcomes for many years, the school in recent times has experienced a serious decline in this critical area.
2.  Interest in history!
The vision for Summit originated with legal educators who saw the need for an institution that would focus less upon law school rankings and more upon providing opportunity for persons with historically limited access to legal education.
3.  Throw shade at the fake liberal news media and their racist obstructionism!
Summit has been the subject of considerable negative publicity, especially in recent years as bar pass results declined.  This publicity has obscured the institution’s mission and motives.
4. Embrace the massive happy alumni network!
The School has thousands of successful alumni...
5. A magic fucking wand!
An essential attribute for the position is familiarity with accreditation standards and ability to ensure the school’s long-term viability.
Seem impossible?  Don't worry, Summiteers and JD Advantage aspirants, they're not seeking a purple squirrel here!
Experience in legal education and law school administration is desirable, but is not an absolute requirement.
Have at it, friends!  Climb the Summit and rule scamlord over the whole of Arizona's most diverse and accessible law school!

Monday, June 5, 2017

New Page on Law School Reform

The LSTC has added a new page providing a serious reform proposal for legal education.  You can view it by clicking the link the the right, or by clicking this link here.

Officially, the LSTC has to disavow it as a work of revolting samizdat.  Antitrust and anticapitalist and undemocratic burp da blah da deedily dum.

Will be a bit before the next post absent a major law school story in need of counter-propaganda.  With Trump as President, coal is making a roaring comeback, and the LSTC is doing a strenuous workout program to be in tip-top shape for heaving it into the red-hot boiler of the Million Dollar Express.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Indiana Tech's Bittersweet Departure

If there's one silver lining to Indiana Tech's depressing closure, henceforth denying Fort Wayne its rightful place as a monument to excellence in the American legal hierarchy, it's that the ponds for other law school fisher-deans are slightly more stocked.

Read the prose and you can feel the hooks being baited
Toledo has already admitted some Indiana Tech transfers and expects to have a total of 13 enrolled by the start of the fall semester. All the law schools in Indiana have received transfer applications from Indiana Tech students, according to the deans of the respective institutions.

Both Indiana University Maurer School of Law, which received two transfer applications, and Notre Dame Law School, which got “a few,” are still waiting for spring semester grades before making any decisions about accepting the students. Indiana University Robert H. McKinney School of Law received four requests to transfer and is still considering the applications. Finally, Valparaiso Law School had a total of five applications from Indiana Tech and expects two will matriculate in the fall with one student repeating the entire first year.

Western Michigan University Cooley Law School has received “a number” of transfer applications, said James Robb, associate dean of external affairs and general counsel. Some Indiana Tech students have been admitted, others are still being reviewed, and Robb is anticipating a few more will submit applications because Cooley keeps fall enrollment open until classes begin.
Yes, even though Indiana Tech only had "a number" of students pass the bar last year, precipitating the final towel-throwing, the region's law schools are more than ready to find these former Techsters a spot in the livewel...wait, I mean a spot in the greatest profession in America.  Look at these fine white knight institutions rushing to the rescue whippin' their big-ass fishing rods around.  And the perseverance of students willing to repeat courses to better themselves!

Bonus points to Superdean Ben Barros, who encourages schools to stay open long enough to deny any of their students that pesky student loan discharge option:
“I think what Indiana Tech did was wrong,” said D. Benjamin Barros, dean of the University of Toledo College of Law. “The expectation is for an ABA-accredited law school to have a teach-out plan to educate all the students. It’s shocking to me Indiana Tech didn’t meet that obligation.”
Shocking indeed; I expect that 9th-tier institutions hastily founded after the recession against all rational advise to linger as long as possible even if it costs them their ridiculous art collection.  Don't you?

 Barros' response, however...that's refreshing stuff, like spiked lemonade on a warm spring day.  It's special lemonade, kids.  Not urine at all.  Who said it was urine?  It's not.  Drink it up.  The natural creatine in the lemonade helps build the muscle legal employers want to see!

In other silver linings, the U.S. is apparently going down the political tubes so precipitously that it's difficult to imagine a fallout scenario where America doesn't need a veritable army of lawyers to sort through the bureaucratic rubble.  Some only see gallows' humor, but damn, it's an opportunity if you pretend it's one.