In the shock of all shocks, I saw a new one from an actual practicing attorney (a commoner of all things!). Enter Michael C. Sullivan, the brilliant San Diego attorney who's representing Thomas Jefferson in the Defense of Noble Virtue:
“What I find most ironic is that those individuals advertised themselves to law schools as great critical thinkers,” Sullivan said of the law-school graduate plaintiffs in an interview with the Los Angeles Times. “Now they say they never considered the possibility that employment might include part-time jobs.”
Someone's channeling Voltaire! I mean, if we were to parse this quote, it doesn't make a god-damned lick of booger-eating sense, but who cares? What wit! Why, he's a motherfuckin' lyrical wordsmith motherfuckin' genius!
I mean, there's zealous advocacy, but then there's going above and beyond and making shit up as you go along. Accusing law applicants of advertising? Injecting "irony" where it doesn't belong? This is the rarefied air occupied by the likes of Larry "Underdog" Mitchell and Patrick "Valvoline Dean" Hobbs. Go, Sully, go!
Given the brilliance of the quote and who he represents, can we assume that he ripped it off from the TJLS admins and faculty? There's no way a practicing, licensed attorney would actually come up with such a brilliantly stupid bon mot, is there? Or has the academe of Southern California whiffed on hiring one of the greatest legal minds of our time?
Oh, and speaking of irony-that's-not-really-irony, check this editorial out:
Since [an article about the lawsuits] was published on April 1st, I thought that it might be a joke, but I am sorry to say it was not....
One of the students who joined the class action lawsuit stated that while he believes his degree is a useful tool, the lawsuit was intended to combat “systemic ongoing fraud prevalent in the legal education industry that could leave a generation of law students in dire financial crisis.” You cannot make this stuff up.
I have a lot of friends who are lawyers, law students or thinking about enrolling in law schools, and I applaud them. I know it is not easy or cheap. That being said, suing your school because your industry is changing is ridiculous.
The author is with "California Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse." Uh oh, grads, did you hear that? Your suit is FRIVOLOUS and you are ABUSING THE COURTS because THE IDEA OF SYSTEMIC FRAUD AND LAW GRADUATES GOING INTO UNSUSTAINABLE DEBT IS A JOKE.
Kids, you realize how many years of propaganda have been spent getting assholes like this to consider your view laughable? You're charging a fortress with pea-shooters and slingshots, because guys like this could read Tamanaha and Campos and Nando and LST and they will never, ever, ever, ever, ever believe that a Noble and Prestigious School of Law could ever be a valid fraud defendant. You're all just feckless maggots whining about ordinary life, so get off your ass and get one of them jobs.
So here's to Michael C. Sullivan, one of California's premier fraud defense attorneys, and Tom Scott, citizen fighting against the frivolousness of suing lying liars. You guys are helping keep America, and more importantly, her law schools, strong. They're the victims here, of fraudulent advertising and abusive litigation.
Enjoy the weekend everybody. Have a beer, file your taxes, and make sure that if you see any law graduates, kick 'em in the balls (or female equivalent - I'm still not sure what exactly that is, and plan to review the internet for details) for being so damned ironic and frivolous.