Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A Note on Spam and the Virtues of Blue Comedy

Lately, this blog has been receiving considerably more spam than it used to. Two points:

1. I blame the SCAMBLOGGERS for the increase, just as I blame the SCAMBLOGGERS for the spreading negative perceptions of law school. Here's looking at you, David Lat and Matt Leichter.

2. I don't bother with filtering it and even if I see it, in most cases (read: not illegal), I don't intend to delete it. As many of you readers found law school a worthwhile investment, I have no doubt you'll find many of the products and services offered quite useful, if not transformative. Because if you're dumb enough to believe that law schools place 90% of their graduates in respectable jobs, you're clearly dumb enough to believe that 60 year olds can look like 35 year olds, that we can solve cancer by eating blueberry extract, and that you can not only easily get a 13-inch penis but that you and your lover(s) want you to have one.*

On that note, I'm off to sell first-class tickets to the American lower upper middle class. It's a luxury trip, so make sure you bring your shrimp fork and preferred Cabernet glass.

*one time I was smoking cigars with two male deans from prestigious, lowly-ranked law schools. The following dialogue ensued:

Dean 1: So the other night I took a young woman out for an evening and things went quite well. We came back to my place.
Dean 2: You give her the grand tour?
Dean 1: Yeah, 5000 square feet and it ended in my bedroom.
Dean 2: You show her the ex-wife's closet?
Dean 1: Of course, I let her pick out a handbag. Anyway, things starting getting interesting and I stopped and said now I have to warn you of something.
Dean 2: Disclaimers and exclusions.
Dean 1: Yes, I said, now I have to tell you I have a 14-inch cock. And her eyes got as wide as a 1L seconds before a contracts exam, but of course she just had to SEE it. So I pulled my pants off and she says "that's not that big at all!" I said "well, I measured from the back of my butt to the tip of the johnson." She laughs and says that's not how you do it.
Dean 2: What did you say to that?
Dean 1: I said "Really? That's how we measure our employment stats, include a bunch of ass that doesn't matter."
Dean 1, Dean 2, Me: (disproportionally-uproarious laughter)

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