Thursday, April 4, 2013


Welcome back to ScamMadness! This time, we're taking the Elite of the Elite and finding the Elite of the Elite of the Elite. That's right: the Final Fraudulent Four.

As every trial attorney knows, appearance matters. That murdering baby rapist? He'll get less time if you get a professional teeth whitening and shine the shoes. Law schools know this, too. That 200,000 in debt with limited job prospects? It sounds a lot less plausible when the place LOOKS prestigious.

SO today's round is simple: who has the shinier, prettier, mark-inducing building, just by looking at the exterior. Hey, it's just like district attorney hiring! Scores are subjective on a 1-100 scale.

Widener 75
Western New England 61

Western New England's building looks like a high school. So does Widener's Harrisburg campus, but its Wilmington campus looks like an arena. Advantage Widener.

Thomas Cooley 64
Florida Coastal 84

Cooley's Tampa Bay campus looks like a retrofitted Medieval Times or a strip mall with no outlets or windows. It's actually a former building of the Progressive Insurance Co. that's been remodeled into a kick-ass law school, but I'm just no seeing the architectural pizzazz. Florida Coastlal's looks like a suburban office mecca and/or modern research laboratory. It's bitchin' enough to get them in the Final Four.

Thomas Cooley 92
Chicago-Kent 65

Can't stop the juggernaut. Here's a brief intro to their four (4) Michigan campuses. The Auburn Hills one is especially rad, and the Ann Arbor one shouldn't be important since it's Ave Maria's former scamming dive. And, of course, the Lansing flagship. Courthouse? Masonic temple? Who knows and who cares, when it breathes condescending authority upon all who grace it. Here's Chicago-Kent's urban genericness. Impressive, but clearly a mid-major effort trying to match a classic North Carolina or Kentucky squad.

Willamette 76
McGeorge 58

Willamette went colonial for its law school, very traditional, academic, pretty. McGeorge has some hippie pine-tree quad-like thing that I can't even find a good picture of. So Willamette wins and McGeorge dominates...itself.

There you have it! Our Final Four: Two blue-bloods in Cooley and Florida Coastal, a strong underrated program in Widener, and a wildcard in Willamette.

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