We're back with our most popular feature this week, generating buzz across the internet from alternet to ZDnet: the continuation of ScamMadness, our tournament to determine just which institution can out-scam 'em all this year. It's time to whittle the elite into the elite of the elite.
This round was determined by one sole criterion: most worthless LLM. Initially, we're looking for quality, not quantity, so offering 10 worthless practical LLMs in areas like Real Estate or Family Law is not nearly as good as offering 1 crispy, golden-fried turd of an LLM in International Romulan Law. At its sole discretion, the LSTC will determine a score from 0-100 to determine the winner.
ROUND 3 RESULTS
ROGER WILLIAMS -10
Widener offers a generic LLM that can cover practice areas like Criminal Law or Environmental Law, which is probably the best option, but sadly, their American Legal Studies LLM is open only to foreign students. Roger Williams does not apparently offer LLMs, carelessly leaving the entire state of Rhode Island devoid of post-JD legal education. Can someone please call the Providence whatever to report this?!
WESTERN NEW ENGLAND 90
Baltimore offers tax and a "law of the US" LLM for foreigners. Ho to the hum. What we're looking for is arcane and impractical. Western New England offers an LLM in Closely-Held Businesses, which will certainly serve that massive corporate law community in Springfield, MA. Oh - it's also online, so you can make that Seattle U. degree all the more sparkling to the corporate firms of the west coast! How could they not hire you if you understand closely-held businesses?!
THOMAS COOLEY 20
Charlotte Law apparently offers no LLMs. Being new is no excuse! Cooley has its Homeland Security LLM, but it doesn't appear they offer it at the Florida campus except for online classes, I guess. So they win. In a depressingly weak matchup.
FLORIDA COASTAL 45
Florida Coastal = online LLM in U.S. Law.
Liberty = Nothing. What would Jesus do? Start an LLM in religious law!
THOMAS COOLEY 95
Cooley offers its Homeland Security LLM, 'nuff said. Valparaiso is exemplifying the need for Indiana Tech by offering only a masters of American Law for foreigners.
Kent offers an LLM in International Intellectual Property Law (open to Americans!), as apparently the regular LLM in International Law was not worthless enough. Capital Law offers an LLM in Business & Tax, because apparently the LLM in Business and the LLM in Tax were not worthless enough.
Phoenix law doesn't offer LLMs because yet another program hasn't realized the versatility of the law school. Willamette offers an LLM in Transnational Law. They also offer an LLM in "dispute resolution," so Pheonix could learn a thing or two.
LOYOLA-LOS ANGELES 45
McGeorge offers an LLM in Water Resources Law. That, my friends, is creativity, innovation, flair. Despite its presence in Hollywood, Loyola does not offer any sort of entertainment LLM, going with only the American law for foreigners LLM and tax.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT! Our Elite Eight. The Juggernaut of Cooley makes history by being the first school to put two campuses through to this round. Widener continues its impressive run, and McGeorge, Willamette, and Chicago-Kent making surprise showings for reasonably-ranked schools.
Tune in later this week to find out the FINAL FRAUDULENT FOUR.