Monday, November 30, 2015

Valvoline Dean Living Sports Law Dream

For all those of you who think that Patrick Hobbs a/k/a "The Valvoline Dean," former slickmeister at the helm of Seton Hall, is - say - a bucket of oleaginous pond scum - please take heed of the conclusion by this esteemed media organization:
Hobbs' credentials are impeccable.
Suck on that teat, Bullock.  It's been like six years since people started calling out/"slandering" this guy for being a glorified used car salesman at Seton Hall and he's still got an "impeccable" reputation in the media.

Kids, you've been served.  Make sure you tip 20% like grown ups who wear pocket squares.

In any event, Hobbs is about to softly land his parachute in what might be called a top sports law JD Advantage job:
Rutgers officials were unavailable for comment, but two sources familiar with the decision said all signs pointed to Barchi tapping Hobbs to run the Rutgers athletics department.
Yes, Dean Hobbs is going to glide right out of legal education and right into running a Big Ten athletic department.  When you think about it, Big Ten Network money is sorta like the GradPlus program, no?

Skeptics might ask themselves what, exactly, Hobbs has done to warrant this job.  They might point out that his prior stint as an AD was on an interim basis for a school without a D-1 football program where his one revenue hire has gone 30-60 in conference basketball play.  They might observe that Rutgers has a significantly larger alumni base and Hobbs doesn't seem to have any experience with big-program athletic fundraising, which is a different animal that pumping older lawyers for a share of the lucre.  They might also cynically remark that the federal government does not back loans for purchasing Rutgers football tickets.

BUT TO THEM, I would say:  Behold! This be the mighty power of the juris doctor!  When Rutgers looks at Hobbs, it doesn't see a slick bullshitting academic who could sell a traffic court clerkship as a six-figure jackpot to salivating law students.  It sees a man with finely tuned leadership abilities and the breadth of knowledge granted only by a legal education - including an intimate knowledge of how college athletics interacts with law and such.  It doesn't just see a man who's an expert at pulling money out of fools into a ridiculous and unnecessary program; it seems a man who does so while wielding the mighty modern day Tyrfing of Justice with every step in his finely polished shoes.

So to those who argue that sports law is a non-field, I present Dean Hobbs, our latest exhibit that with a bit of hard work, dedication, gravitas, and the right dominoes falling, any law graduate can find himself or herself in a position to hoodwink one's way into running a power five athletic department.


  1. I I think you're really funny! Girls will like you because you are funny!
    Most higher Ed seems sort of scammy today. For profit Ed needs to be illegal immediately. I feel so awkward when I meet people who have ruined their lives in the particular way..I think the key for young people today is to find something extremely useful. I know a guy with no college who makes six figures because the navy trained him to repair uninterrupted power supplies. But no one thinks of things like that...until we all realize that college is largely fraud. You should check out professor dooms anti community college blog. Similar issues re: student loans and admin graft.

  2. Law School is not a scam if you tell the truth. The truth is in the data. In my small community, the local yellow pages contains 30 pages of lawyers and small law firms barking about their "experience" and free consultations with dozens per page. And those are the lawyers that can afford to advertise! Automotive related is 15 pages and encompasses everything from AC to transmissions, rental, repair, dealers, glass, tires, fuel, quick lubes. Every adult owns at least one car and will service and repair it from time to time and purchase several during their lives. How many times will an average adult need lawyer? Maybe twice for a few minutes? Our numbers are not SUSTAINABLE for a long term lucrative career. You will be faced with a huge amount of uncertainty and huge student loan payments.

  3. The last time $eTTon Haul Univer$iTTy had a relevant sports program was the late 1980s with the men's college basketball team. How much is this car salesman making now in that capacity, by the way?

  4. What the I don't even...

    The longer I live, the more everything looks like "Bizarro World." There is no justice.