GWU Surging, Doing Its Part to Aid DC Lawyer Shortage

So my last entry - about an actual proposed reform - didn't garner any comments, not even from the digital horde of spambots! Obviously, my Loyal Readership has no interest in actually reforming law schools.

Not that we need it. As much as you say enrollment at school (x) is down, there's always schools that are going to anchor lawyer production.

Like Motherfuckin' George Washington University:

A total of 484 students entered the school this fall, including about 80 more full-time students than last year, according to the school's preliminary data.

Trap school? Yeah...if you want to be trapped in wealth.

And how did they achieve this magnificent feat?

Rich Collins, the associate vice president for law development, said the school considered GPA more than it has in the past, while lowering its LSAT score standards.

To be fair, the real George Washington never even TOOK the LSAT, so today's students still have, like, a 160-point advantage on the school's namesake.

Collins said Maggs stressed the need for a larger class "to make the place run." A smaller first-year class strains law schools' finances with less cash from tuition, which was hiked up by 4.8 percent this year.

"We're not the kind of place where you go on a diet and decide you're a size two when you've been a size eight," he said.

Woot! 20+% increase AND a 4.8% hike in tuition!

And I applaud the administrators for refusing to put the law school on a diet. Who cares if the law school has ridiculous hypertension, diabetes, and elevated levels of failed solos and doc reviewers?

THE FAT LAW SCHOOL PLEDGE: ONCE YOU GET FAT, YOU STAY FAT UNTIL YOU DEAD.*

Oh, don't worry, kids and new enrollees. GWU ain't croakin' any time soon. The article compares its enrollment increases to Duke, Vanderbilt, Virginia, and NYU, clearly all law schools in GWU's class.

Of course, the best news in all of this is that with GWU being fat, and with the other DC schools hardly being slim there's going to be plenty of greasy lawyer poop shot into the streets of our nation's capital for years to come, ensuring that poor people will never suffer for lack of being surrounded by shitlawyers.

(Yes, I chuckled while writing that).

(*I'm not saying size 8 women are fat by this analogy; although I do think a 450-person law school is grossly overweight. Size 8 women are rarely fat, and I frankly think it's offensive for the dean to suggest that size 8 women can easily and flippantly "decide" to go to a size 2, as it perpetuates a lot of unhealthy image stereotypes. There's no medical reason for the majority of size 8 women to diet, and most size 8 women are likely healthier than their size 2 counterparts. It's also much, much easier for GWU to become reasonably-sized than for a size 8 woman to magically become a size 2. For trained lawyers, these people seem averse to thinking things through before speaking to journalists.)