Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Albany "Professors" Taking After Whiny Scambloggers

You know when big companies like shed employees to regroup and then their stock shoots way up?

I give thee mortals the gift of Albany Law.
An undisclosed number of professors at Albany Law School are willing to leave in exchange for buyouts as school leaders deal with an increasingly restive faculty that may soon be facing possible pay cuts or unpaid leave.
In a confidential April 15 memo to the faculty, [Board Chair Daniel] Nolan rebuked them for waging a "smear campaign" against Dean Penelope Andrews as part of "mudslinging" and "vitriolic attacks" that were bringing "dishonor" to the law school.
Jumpin' Jehoshaphat, what are you, jack-assed scambloggers?  Be honorable, law professors, like the British on a sinking ship!

Unfortunately, it appears some Albany professors do not grasp the concept of RESPECT, KNAVES that is supposed to permeate academia, which may explain why the school is having to rebound from a slight slump.
He wrote that the faculty messages delivered to trustees by the Faculty Long-Range Planning Committee were "filled with many statements that are inaccurate or unfairly taken out of context" and "filled with distortions and untruths by anonymous posters. It contains personal attacks and questions the good faith of many actors."
Why don't you trash heaps join the commenters at Third Tier Reality?  It's obviously where you belong, with the other anonymous bad faith mudslingers.

Other lowlights of these rebellious dogs:

  • Some of the faculty memos complain of low morale among faculty; maybe they should go into private practice, where morale is at all-time highs.
  • Albany professors hired an outside economist to examine the finances at the school from 2008 to 2012, who naturally found no "empirical evidence" that there was financial pressures on the school.  Ugh.  Everyone knows law schools were doing just dandy until, like, 2012, and then the effects of the global recession eased and people started finding better things to do than law school.  Or something.  Shit, I can't remember the narrative today.
  • A bloc of faculty members filed a "complaint" with the AALS requesting "mediation."  LOLERZ, complaint dismissed.
In any event, Albany is in serious trouble now because of the applicant pool finding better things to do than invest in a legal education, but once expenses are lowered, it'll go gangbusters.  Once we shed some of the dead weight, this clipper is going to six-figure knots.  There, does that work as a marketing pitch?  

Oh, fuck it, $160k, 97% employed at 9 months.  


  1. These tenured monsters are oh so sad because the most incompetent of their number are getting offered six-figure buyout packages.

    I await declarations of financial exigency. Then the "buyout packages" offered will be more reasonable. Maybe something like four weeks severance pay and a security escort out the back door.

    1. The first people to accept buyouts always do better than those in the subsequent waves.

    2. @9:54 is correct. The first buyouts come when the powers that be are still deluding themselves that the institution can be saved with a few buyouts.

  2. Law professors are delicate flowers. Just the suggestion of firings or pay cuts has given them the vapours. Its almost like having to work a real job. They need to get rid of the mean dean and get a new one who will give them the cossetting they need and deserve.

  3. I love seeing these "educators" claim that their toilet is in good or stellar financial shape, while the number of applicants dwindles further - and "professors" are pretty much forced to accept buyouts. It's no wonder that no one believes these rats.

  4. I hope their economist examined empirical evidence on the personal finances of graduates, not just the internal finances of the school. It could be that Dean Andrews is looking ahead to the day when lemmings with English, sociology, and art history degrees won't be willing to incur massive debts to attend that frozen wasteland of simulated learning.