Friday, December 13, 2013

Your Friday the 13th Nightmare: TJLS Slashing Expenses

From the dean of Thomas Jefferson via Muckrucker Prime:
First, while a general decline in enrollment is a systemic problem, we did not help the situation by allowing an unsustainable growth in the administrative structure of the school or building a facility as grand as ours. But, as you may have seen in press reports, the law school made severe cuts to its budget in response to the nationwide decline in applications. The reports did not paint the full nature of those cuts. For fiscal year 2014, the law school made cuts, totaling $4,798,081. Among other things, we layed-off 12 staff members, eliminated many more unfilled open positions, cut staff salaries by a minimum of 5%, cut faculty salaries by a minimum of 8%. In spite of these cuts, I am proud to say that 100% of the faculty contributed to this year’s annual fund.
Praise the Lawd the faculty cares enough about the school to donate in such circumstances!  That's the law professor spirit!  And everyone will sing Nearer My God to Thee, too!

The Friday the 13th nightmare, of course, isn't TJLS's.  Their story - of a thrifty independent school started in the 60s that changed its name to that of a famous American who has nothing to do with San Diego less than 20 years ago and built a super-kewl campus right into a recessionary wind - is not a horror story, but a tragedy.

The nightmare is the people of San Diego who will be destined for the Land of No Representation if this fine school's economic woes continue to drive the school to reduce slots for eager students.  And it's San Diego, so not only do you have families and businesses who need legal counsel, but you've also got Mexicans, Marines, and Dudes Jackin' It Publicly.  All sorts of legal condundra for law graduates, left vacant, to pro se, to try and wade the harsh waters of the legal system without the compass of ABA-approved-educated counsel.

Fuck Freddy Kruger, that's a real nightmare.

And they'll sing softly, curled up in attics and crawl-spaces while the looming shadows of skeletal, haunting LEGAL TROUBLES overtake their lives, and they'll softly sing...

Where have all the lawyers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the lawyers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the lawyers gone?
Irrational fears about oversupply scared them off.
Oh, why did they not learn?
Oh, why did they not learn? 

Where have all the law firms gone, long time passing?
Where have all the law firms gone, long time ago?
Where have all the law firms gone?
My yellow pages and bus-sides are blank, every one.
Oh, why did they not learn?
Oh, why did they not learn?


  1. The pigs at TJ$L are also leveraged to the max, thanks to that super expensive, fancy-ass building the bastards purchased recently. Hell, you can almost hear this toilet flush.

  2. The Scamityville Horror: Someday when the 90 million dollar TJSL building is repurposed as a high-end condo, the residents will exhibit demented behavior, such as compulsion to borrow and burn piles of money. Some will have vivid nightmares about a profession being murdered. Noxious ooze, identified as law review articles, will leak from the walls and toilets. They will finally figure out that the building is haunted because it was once the site of a mass graveyard of legal careers.

    1. I want a screenwriting credit on the feature film.