A report released Friday calls for sweeping changes at the University of Maine School of Law, including the addition of new faculty and administrative positions, expansion of course offerings and an overhaul of governance and operational practices.Fuck, boing, yes. Sure, this is sorta like the institutional equivalent of buying your 51-year-old wife breast implants and new cheekbones instead of just leaving her on the curb and embracing swingin' singledom, but you work with what you have.
“Maine (School of Law) has already begun to cannibalize core functions in order to balance budget priorities,” the report says. “If Maine is to have a law school, then it must be repositioned within three years, funded and led by a skilled team as soon as possible.”
University officials Friday did not have an exact figure on how much it would cost to implement the wide-ranging recommendations of the report, but James Erwin, chairman of the UMaine System Board of Trustees, estimated it would require “millions of dollars at least.”
The list of suggestions reads like Christmas in July for a law school sycophant. Big, new investment in diversity (read: getting non-white people to move to Maine)? Check. Investment in specifically training lawyers for rural Maine, which has a dreadful lawyer shortage? Check. Expanded tenured faculty and an administrator devoted to fundraising? Big-dick-energy check.
Of course the article discusses the "financial" "issues" of operating a law school in a remote, small population state. The government isn't giving them nearly enough, admissions have been stagnant, law applicants nationwide are down, blah blah blah. It's had to make tuition concessions to draw new students and the faculty has even gone without cost-of-living increases since 2013.
But fold the cards? No, baby, it's time to go all-in. Student loan money ain't coming in like it used to? Well, time to amp up state funding! Get some new tenured faculty and funnel some o' that ol' internet money or somethin' this way!
I like the cut of your jib, folks. Tell that blue ribbon task force to go on tour, please. I've got a few more states they can visit...