Sunday, June 12, 2016

Newsweek: America's Forgotten Bastion of Journalism

It's easy, in the age of the internet, to forget that once upon a time, America had great magazines, bestowing upon their bathroom and waiting room readership immense knowledge about the events of the day.

Newsweek was one such periodical.  It's touching to see that Newsweek is not only still publishing items of public interest, but doing so in an extremely intelligent fashion:
It is no secret that being a lawyer is one of the most demanding professions, with long hours being the norm and an exceptional level of talent and intelligence required.
Already, we're approaching Pulitzer territory.  It must be a daily basis that I speak with another attorney and I am reminded that it truly does take supreme intellect and talent to find bold new ways to frivolously object to discovery requests, to fill fifteen pages with an argument more fit for three or four, to talk for a half-hour on the phone without saying anything useful.  For someone to finally capture that feeling in prose has made my weekend.

But the article doesn't stop at blowing smoke up the ass of every parent of a law school delivery in American history.  After noting the riches that accrue to American lawyers and that "the experience and prestige gained from being a part of [BigLaw's] procedures and work ethic will be invaluable," the article dives straight into discussing some of America's finest law programs.

It's not advertising.  It's Newsweek.  Seattle, Maryland, Nova Southeastern, Appalachian, NYLS, St. Thomas, and Western State all were awarded accolades in the article such as this one:
Meanwhile, the Appalachian School of Law teaches students to help advance their communities, requiring them to complete 25 hours of community service each semester by proposing their own project or choosing from a list of over 60 projects.
In any event, if there was no doubt that some gunner of a copywriter is shooting for an award and/or complimentary anilingus and/or a publishing deal with Ankerwyke, check out the closer:
The preservation of freedom means all must depend on the same laws to keep the world equal, and it is up to the lawyers to be the guardians of this trust to maintain the fragile balance – a momentous responsibility entrusted to only the cream of the crop.
Let us enjoy the ongoing climax of American law and let that cream flow.


  1. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingJune 12, 2016 at 2:18 PM

    Newsweek, nearing the end of its print edition, published "factual" ads about Leading Attorneys and made it sound newsy. They "profiled" local law firms and attorneys. They did the same with plastic surgeons and dieticians. These ads smack of deception and dishonesty. A law school education should speak for itself. Show it, don't say it.

  2. Back in 1998, Newsweek went full-on Soviet and refused to break the story about Bill Clinton turning himself into a turbo-charged perjury machine in a civil deposition. So Drudge ran with it instead.

    I see that 18 years later, Newsweek is still setting a high bar for exemplary, responsible journalism.

  3. That incompetently written article looks like the prose of a 3L at an InfiLaw scam school. The text doesn't even hold together. Did an editor review it?

    Note that it is headed "BEST LAW SCHOOLS 2016", in red type. I have searched unsuccessfully for the notation "PAID ADVERTISEMENT". Are we really expected to believe that the seven Cooleys cited in that article are the best law schools, eclipsing Harvard, Yale, even mother-fucking Cardozo? and that "an exceptional level of talent and intelligence" characterizes students with LSAT scores in the low 140s and worse?

  4. The links on the right side of the page lead to advertisements obviously written by the skules themselves. Some of them even refer to "our" institution, "our" students, and the like rather than feigning detachment with third-person pronouns.

    The whole piece is a jingoistic commercial solicitation masquerading unconvincingly as journalism.

  5. Stonemason, Esq.June 13, 2016 at 4:49 AM

    Cravath is based in the US, Appalachian law school is based in the US. Therefore, Appalachian law school is a ticket to partner track at Cravath. You heard it from Newsweek!

  6. Thanks for summarizing the article. If I had to read it fully my eyes would bleed.

  7. I guess Newsweek is following in the footsteps of USN&WR. When the core business is going into the tank, but your brand still has name recognition and credibility, you try to squeeze whatever value you can get from it. Faux "news" stories about "great" law schools can be sold for a lot more if the magazine they are being pitched for is called "Newsweek" or "USN&WR" than they would be for a magazine called "Goober".

    1. That article actually cites You Ass News.

  8. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingJune 13, 2016 at 8:00 PM

    Pull open any 50-60s era Popular Mechanics or Popular Science Magazines and among the "career" ads for bulldozer operator, wall washer, flocker, mail order importer, lathe operator, accident investigator, one will find Blackstone College of Law and LaSalle Extension University. At least they were somewhat honest and did not pretend to be anything other than puffed up ads. "Be a Law Trained Man." In contrast, those Newsweek "7 Cooleys" are outright dishonest. They are blatantly hiding the ball.

  9. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingJune 14, 2016 at 4:38 PM

    Their attracting the same end of the market as DeVry, Phoenix, ITT, Lincoln Tech---the folks who sit at home chain smoking and watch hours and hours of Jerry, Montel, Maury and endless reruns of Walker Texas Ranger. These same folks see the television legal ads of the shysters and equate that with success...

  10. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingJune 14, 2016 at 7:31 PM

    I once saw an ad for a $16,000 Jeep Liberty. I drove to the dealer and they showed me the Jeep. It had one side view mirror, skinny tires, plastic wheel covers, and unpainted bumpers. Yuck!!! The sales lady showed me one that was 28K.