Wednesday, July 2, 2014

"Scam" Lunatic Logic Assualting America's Second-Best Law School (EDIT: The 6th Circuit Joins In!)

Cooley law school is halting first-year admissions at its Ann Arbor campus and is cutting faculty and staff.

As you can see, there are now real people being hurt by the law school scam fallacy.  In stark contrast to the mythical Cooley law graduates who faced an allegedly-brutal employment market - when in fact they had the versatile yacht Juris Doctor that could guide them into any number of safe harbors - Cooley now has employees who will be cast into a deep ocean.  Either they do not have a JD and they will struggle with less versatile circumstances, or they will have a JD and they forwent six- and seven-figure salaries for the penury of educating tomorrow's attorneys.

Of course, we mustn't forget the law school applicants.  Cooley is now forced to decline enrollment at its Ann Arbor campus.  Now, because of the lies spread by selfish malcontents, a city of 110,000 is left with only one law school.  For students who unfortunately cannot make it into the University of Michigan - you know, the people who wind up representing the poor - now have to drive into Wayne State or Detroit-Mercy.

Keep the faith and scam on.

Note:  Now would be an ideal time to consider donating to America's second best law school.  If you have extra cash lying around as a result of your choice to pursue a legal education, please consider donating to Cooley Law School.  As America's second-best law school, Cooley is essential to maintaining a well-educated bar across America.  Cooley graduates a few thousand students each year, which is an abnormally-high percentage of America's legal education output.  Without their support, we risk greatly imperiling the future of the legal profession, if not America.  If you're not willing to donate and save America, go fuck yourself with the business end of a gavel. 

If that weren't enough, the 6th Circuit decided to fart one out today.

7 comments:

  1. The second best law school in America. That's hilarious!

    Will this cause TTTT Cooley to fall to third or fourth place in its own presTTTTigious rankings?!?!

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  2. In addition to Wayne State and Mercy Mercy, the jilted students can also commute to Cooley at Auburn Hills. Cooley is like McDonald's or 7-Eleven, always there whenever you need a convenient law school with almost no admission standards.

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  3. Replies
    1. Imagining The Open ToadJuly 4, 2014 at 5:01 PM

      Actually, I think it was supposed to be spelled assulating.

      Delete
  4. "Now, because of the lies spread by selfish malcontents, a city of 110,000 is left with only one law school."

    OMFG! Reduced to the status of Bekeley (pop. 112,580)???
    It cannot be! I guess there's nothing left for the state of Michigan but seppuku. We'll miss it.

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  5. "If you have extra cash lying around as a result of your choice to pursue a legal education..."

    :)

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