Thursday, July 10, 2014

Prominent Opponent of Nation's Number Two School Cowers, Withdraws Malicious Falsehoods

Hey, do you remember that muckrucking asshole who started a motherfucking weebly blog (who even does that?!?!) for the sole purpose of defaming the nation's second best law school?

Contrition time!
I have decided to remove all of my blog postings about Thomas M. Cooley Law School from the Internet. 
In particular, I did not intend the following statements to be interpreted as literally true when I made them, and I want to publicly retract and apologize for any confusion that I may have caused to anyone viewing them on my blog
For those of you who may still be confused:  Cooley does not commit any misrepresentations of any kind.  Cooley's admissions and retention policies are not, in any way, designed to profit from students or prevent them from transferring to whatever T-14 craves their awesome legal skills.  Cooley's business practices are not, in any respect, "unethical."

I must be at a baseball game, 'cause I'm seriously enjoying these concessions.

But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Thomas M. Cooley Law School...


  1. This is a joyous moment for Cooley, probably the last they'll ever experience in what remains of their short and meaningless life. They certainly won't be able to hire lawyers for this kind of thing in the future. Lacking sufficient talent on their faculty, they'll be hiring outside law firms to handle a long list of predictable legal needs, including foreclosures, tenure busting, bankruptcy petitions, negotiations with outraged bondholders, and IRS investigations of their tax-exempt status.

  2. My guess: The kid was winning his defamation case, but could not afford the expense and stress of continuing litigation, so he provided the Cooley gangsters with a humble retraction to settle all claims. Knowing that nobody, but nobody, would believe the retraction.

    1. 99.25% this (because it is not a statement of fact).

  3. You need to post the full "apology". That's a f*** you apology if I ever read one. Well done, Cooley grad, well done.