Saturday, March 1, 2014

Top Ten Places Desperately in Need of Law School

The recent post about Tacoma possibly getting a new law school set-up made me wonder what other American cities are in need of a law school.  Take heed, budding law deans, capitalists and state legislatures, the following ten cities are RIPE for a profitable, public-serving college of law to attract top-notch legal talent and produce even topper-notched legal talent!

1.  GREENVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA

Greenville, South Carolina, has around 1.4 million people.  NO LAW SCHOOL.  The state only has two law schools, and both are in cities of much lower population closer to the Atlantic.  There is no ABA-accredited school of law within a 90-minute drive of this metro area.  How the hell does anyone get a lawsuit filed in that part of the state?!?!?!  While the legislature is fielding questions about taking over College of Charleston, they should also be demanding a law school.  Clemson School of Law would instantly be prestigious and Furman Law Center would fit nicely with Elon.  Or maybe South Carolina State could open a law school branch there for a public HBCU option.  But for the love of all that's holy, end the legal anarchy in Greenville and get that town legally educated.

2.  ROCHESTER, NEW YORK

Unenlighted people complain that New York has too many law schools.  Even if this were true, most of them are concentrated in the New York City metropolitan area.  Did you know that the ENTIRE "upstate" New York area only has four law schools?  Between Cornell, SUNY-Buffalo, Albany, and Syracuse, they can't quite cover the needs of such a broad swath of real estate.  The loser is Rochester, which has over 1 million people, a booming industrial sector dating back over a century, and NO LAW SCHOOL.  The closest school is over an hour a way.  I think the University of Rochester School of Law could fill this void nicely, and hopefully with lots of international law classes to fill the sorely needed gaps in Trans-Lake Ontario legal relations.

3.  FRESNO, CALIFORNIA

Did you do a double take?!  I sure as shit did.  You hear the trolls talk about California being "saturated."  Uh, hello?  There's no ABA-accredited law school within a metro area of around 1.1 million.  It's at least a two hour drive to the closest ABA-approved legal education route.  THINK OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO MOVE.  NO LAW SCHOOL.  As UC-Irvine has shown, there is a huge demand for public legal education in California.  This one's easy:  Fresno State College of Law.

4.  EL PASO, TEXAS

Not only is El Paso over a million residents in the metro area, it's a metro area that crosses state lines AND international lines.  How is there NO LAW SCHOOL in such a perfect location?  How are filings being made and wills being drafted?  How do corporations merge and whatnot?  For this one, my solution is a joint effort between UTEP, New Mexico State in nearby Las Cruces, and Universidad Aut├│noma de Ciudad Ju├írez just across the river.  We'll call it the Intertransnational Universidad de Law.

5.  CHATTANOOGA, TENNESSEE

900,000.  Three-state metro area.  No ABA accreditation for at least 90 minutes.  Christ on a pogo stick, how do you people live with yourselves?  How do you fill the void in the fabric of social life?  How does it feel when you're brain-drained of legal talent to Knoxville and Nashville and Atlanta while your city starves for legal services?  NO LAW SCHOOL.  FIX IT.  And pssst... UT-Chattanooga Law School just rolls off the tongue, Tennessee legislature.

6.  SARASOTA, FLORIDA

NO LAW SCHOOL.  It's an hour to Stetson and over an hour and a half to Ave Maria.  There's almost a million people in this combined statistical area who likely all suffer from the relative dearth of legal talent, a world where no one can divorce or settle a claim.  Solution:  Manatee School of Law.  Sponsors and investors needed.

7.  MCALLEN/BROWNSVILLE, TEXAS

Tons of people here, most of which are legal.  And yet another area where opportunities for the application of international law are inescapable and yet NO LAW SCHOOL.  The University of Texas-Pan American is right there.  Pan American School of Law.  Public, private, who gives a flip, just build it and teach the lemmings and lemmingos.

8.  WICHITA, KANSAS

Washburn is in the state capital, Topeka.  University of Kansas is near Kansas City.  What's missing?  Oops - we forgot the 700k metro area in the middle of the state without any viable legal education options.  What gives, yo?  How the hell are the rural areas of western Kansas supposed to stay lawyered up when their talent is brain-drained all the way to the Missouri border?  Two solutions to this NO LAW SCHOOL NIGHTMARE:  Wichita State School of Law and/or Friends Law School.

9.  MOBILE, ALABAMA

They need lawyers on the gulf, but you wouldn't know it since there is NO LAW SCHOOL from New Orleans to Tampa otherwise.  Alabama is lawyer-starved, and Mobile seems like a great place to add one.  It's nonsense that these people have to move two hours to get the sweet and savory taste of law.  The University of Mobile is Baptist-affiliated, and we need more Baptist-affiliated law schools.  Mobile College of Law should be born.

10.  RENO, NEVADA

Reno has 500k+ in a growing state.  But alas, UNLV remains the only law school in the entire state.  NO LAW SCHOOL anywhere else.  That's neglectful.  This city is a secondary epicenter of gambling law and sorely in need of additional legal education.  Let's put one at the University of Nevada School of Law.

19 comments:

  1. How about a new law school at UC Riverside? All the ABA law schools in LA are on the west side, much too far to go for the 3 Million who live in the inland empire. Also, the ABA can simply approve San Joaquin College of Law to serve Fresno, which can then sell itself to infilaw.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The university of LaVerne did establish a law school in Ontario, not far from Riverside. They're currently having trouble attracting students, though. Maybe an evenings-only program could keep them afloat for a while.

      Delete
    2. I think La Verne could get flushed any day now.

      Second only to Indiana Tech on the critical condition list.

      Delete
  2. I'm partial to Greensboro, Corpus Christi and Santa Barbara myself, but you did some good research there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Damn! I forgot that the "Elon University" law school is in Greensboro. Sorry about that!

      Delete
  3. In 2008, St. Johns Fisher College in Rochester got some seed money from the state to start a law school. The idea was delayed with the recession and i think abandoned a year or two ago.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is one of the funniest posts I have read in a while. By the way, the entire damn state of Alaska does not have a law school. And being so close to Russia, as Waterhead Sarah Palin noted, how can this nation hope to intervene in Russian affairs without a law school in the state closest to that country?!?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truly an ideal location for an international law specialization. Brilliant observation sir Nando

      Delete
  5. I live in 'nooga, as us locals like to call this little piece of Redneckia. My other lawyer buddies and I previously have talked about starting a law skule, given how over production is beginning to tank our business. We would offer all the unique courses perfectly suited to our lovely region: union- bustin' law, red-neck justice law aka "he needed killin' defense law" and a course on the intersection between religious freedom and snake-handlin'. . . . we could get Nancy What's-her-name to write a law review article on "Narratives and Counter-Narratives of Meth Cooking and the American Dream". (a new Appalachian tradition). I am so excited that you see the need too!

    ReplyDelete
  6. There's something floating my my toilet that could use a law school...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think Cooley should open a satellite campus in Mexico.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nah, opening a facility in Mexico is so nineties, it's time to move on.

      How about Zambia, Honduras, Romania, Egypt, or Bangladesh? Next stop is Vietnam...

      Delete
  8. STOP.GIVING.THEM.IDEAS.DAMMIT.

    If someone I know ends up going to a law school that they open up based on one of your 'helpful' ideas and ends up incurring $300,000 of non-dischargeable student debt, I will hunt you down - you will never know what rest is like again...

    (Does that count as a misdemeanor because I threatened you over the Internet for a potential action? Is Nancy Leong going to report me to the bar now?)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Insolent Sir, as much as I purport to do so, any individual who has attained the rank of Dean does not need my help coming up with enhancements to legal education.

    ReplyDelete
  10. How about Evansville or Terre Haute, Indiana? It's a proven fact that the state of Indiana is currently suffering from a desperate shortage of law schools.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Some of the toilets are still flush with cash, so to speak. I wouldn't be surprised if we see a few branch campuses opening up, perhaps in the very locations suggested by LSTC. I think they could use the main school's accreditation and maybe even teleconference with some of their most popular courses.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You forgot the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area. Population over 500k. And a 100 miles or more to Philadelphia/Syracuse/NY metro. I think Wilkes University approved a law school, but it is on hold ....

    ReplyDelete