Welcome to Rounds 2 and 3 of Scam Madness! If you'll recall, the LSTC has sole discretion over the rules of Scam Madness, and this year the Center has decided to more or less combine the rounds of 64 and 32, or in other words be lazy and use the same criteria. MADNESS!
SO - here goes:
It used to be that the law schools closed their doors to the sub-150 LSAT. Well, thanks to some AMAZING revelations in thought, ABA-accredited schools are ever more open to people with less-than-perfect LSAT scores. Such that, by my INFALLIBLE* count, there are - at a minimum - 5,261 people with sub-150 LSATs currently in their first years at ABA-accredited schools.
This year, Scam Madness Rounds 2 and 3 celebrates these fine institutions for their diversity. Winners are determined by the minimum number of knows sub-150 matriculants at each school. This is calculated by a proprietary formula that is INFALLIBLE.* It does not represent the actual number of sub-150 matriculants, only what is known. What about "gaming" the rankings? They'll be rewarded with the tie breaker, which goes to the school whose other percentile ranks are closest to 150, and, upon further reflection, will not be necessary (madness!!!). Results for all ABA schools are below the brackets, where the raw data fed into the proprietary formula may be evaluated for awesomeness.*
*Note: Accuracy is 98% guaranteed after nine months, and you can bet $160k on it. Also, there is a mathematically better way of doing this, but LSTC is lazy, so it just truncated decimals to find the minimum number of LSAT ranks below a percentile. What if there are people who didn't take the LSAT? you ask. Uh, who cares? No assertions of fact herein. Do your own research. For entertainment purposes only. YOU WILL BE JD EMPLOYED WITH A LUCRATIVE SALARY SIGN THIS MPN. Errors are taken as they are.
TO THE BRACKETS!!!
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Second round winners in bold. Third round winners in bold and underline.
EAST
1 Brooklyn 0
16 Suffolk 174
8 Touro 121
9 American 0
4 Albany 49
13 Cardozo 0
5 Vermont 42
12 Roger Williams 37
2 New England 225
15 Baltimore 91
7 Villanova 0
10 Liberty 20
3 Western New England 27
14 Drexel 0
6 Widener 124
11 Quinnipiac 0
MIDWEST
1 Indiana Tech 0
16 Detroit-Mercy 0
8 Arkansas-Little Rock 37 [forfeited to Ind. Tech; MADNESS]
9 Depaul 0
4 Case Western 0
13 Chicago-Kent 8
5 Penn State 0
12 Michigan State 18
2 Thomas Cooley 614 [NEW RECORD!]
15 University of Chicago 0
7 Oklahoma City 86
10 Hamline 37
3 Duquesne 7
14 Capital 57
6 John Marshall 124
11 Ohio Northern 19
SOUTH
1 Florida Coastal 290
16 Stetson 0
8 Florida A&M 108
9 Barry 146
4 Regent 1
13 William & Mary 0
5 Liberty 20
12 Washington & Lee 0
2 Charleston 57
15 Elon 0
7 Jones-Faulkner 63
10 Texas A&M 64
3 Charlotte 336
14 John Marshall 60
6 St. Mary's 0
11 Appalachian 56
WEST
1 Thomas Jefferson 226
16 Idaho 25
8 McGeorge 0
9 Lewis & Clark 0
4 Whittier 64
13 Santa Clara 0
5 UC-Irvine 0
12 Golden Gate 67
2 Arizona Summit 252
15 Alaska Summit 0 [pathetic!]
7 Denver 0
10 Wyoming 19
3 Seattle 0
14 Southwestern 0
6 California-Western 77
11 Western State 36
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Akron - 16 (Part-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 66 matriculants)
Albany - 49 (Full-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 196 matriculants)
Appalachian - 56 (Full-time 75% LSAT of 149 with 75 matriculants)
Arizona Summit - 252 (Full-time 50% LSAT of 146 with 330 matriculants; part-time 75% LSAT of 149 with 117 matriculants)
Arkansas-LR - 37 (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 150 matriculants)
Ave Maria - 56 (Full-time 50% LSAT of 148 with 113 matriculants)
Baltimore - 91 (Full-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 364 matriculants)
Barry - 146 (Total 50% LSAT of 147 with 293 matriculants)
Cal-Western - 77 - (Total 25% LSAT of 148 with 309 matriculants)
Capital - 57 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 147 with 131 matriculants; part-time 50% LSAT of 149 with 51 matriculants)
Charleston - 57 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 145 matriculants; part-time 75% LSAT of 149 with 29 matriculants)
Charlotte - 336 - (Full-time 50% LSAT of 147 with 529 matriculants; part-time 75% LSAT of 147 with 97 matriculants)
Chicago-Kent - 8 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 35 matriculants)
Creighton - 2 - (Part-time 50% LSAT of 149 with 3 matriculants)
Dayton - 66 - (Total 50% LSAT of 149 with 133 matriculants)
DC - 54 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 147 with 163 matriculants; part-time 50% LSAT of 147 with 28 matriculants)
Duquesne - 7 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 31 matriculants)
Faulkner - 63 - (Total 50% LSAT of 147 with 127 matriculants)
Florida A&M - 108 - (Total 50% LSAT of 146 with 217 matriculants)
Florida Coastal - 290 - (Total 50% LSAT of 146 with 580 matriculants)
Florida Int'l - 8 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 33 matriculants)
Golden Gate - 67 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 185 matriculants; part-time 50% LSAT with 42 matriculants)
Hamline - 37 - (Total 25% LSAT of 148 with 124 matriculants)
Idaho - 25 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 102 matriculants)
Indiana-McKinney - 22 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 147 with 88 matriculants)
John Marshall (CHI) - 124 - (Total 25% LSAT of 148 with 498 matriculants)
John Marshall (ATL) - 60 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 118 matriculants; part-time 50% LSAT of 149 with 63 matriculants)
Liberty - 20 - (Total 25% LSAT of 148 with 83 matriculants)
Louisville - 2 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 8 matriculants)
Loyola-No. - 9 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 36 matriculants)
Memphis - 3 - (Part-time 75% LSAT of 149 with 5 matriculants)
Mercer - 32 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 129 matriculants)
Michigan St. - 18 - (Part-time 75% LSAT of 149 with 24 matriculants)
Mississippi College - 75 - (Total 50% LSAT of 149 with 151 matriculants)
Missouri-KC - 38 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 153 matriculants)
New England - 225 - (Total 50% LSAT of 149 with 450 matriculants)
NYLS - 110 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 443 matriculants)
NC Central - 167 - (Full-time 75% LSAT of 149 with 213 matriculants; part-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 35 matriculants)
North Dakota - 20 - (Total 25% LSAT of 145 with 83 matriculants)
Northern Illinois - 27 - (Total 25% LSAT of 147 with 109 matriculants)
Northern Kentucky - 43 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 174 matriculants)
Nova Southeastern - 105 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 315 matriculants; part-time 50% LSAT of 148 with 54 matriculants)
Ohio Northern - 19 - (Total 25% LSAT of 145 with 79 matriculants)
OK City - 86 - (Total 50% LSAT of 149 with 172 matriculants)
Regent - 1- (Part-time 25% LSAT of 147 with 4 matriculants)
Roger Williams - 37 - (Total 25% LSAT of 147 with 151 matriculants)
Saint Louis - 4 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 19 matriculants)
St. Thomas (FL) - 108 - (Total 50% LSAT of 148 with 216 matriculants)
Seton Hall - 12 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 147 with 50 matriculants)
South Dakota - 31 - (Total 50% LSAT of 149 with 62 matriculants)
South Texas - 16 - (Part-time 25% LSAT of 149 with 65 matriculants)
Southern Illinois - 28 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 112 matriculants)
Southern U. - 201 - (Total 75% LSAT of 148 with 268 matriculants)
Suffolk - 174 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 357 matriculants; Part-time 50% of 148 with 171 matriculants)
Texas A&M - 64 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 258 matriculants)
Texas Southern - 61 - (Total 75% LSAT of 148 with 185 matriculants)
Thomas Cooley - 614 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 147 with 115 matriculants; part-time 75% LSAT of 149 with 782 matriculants)
Thomas Jefferson - 226 - (Full-time 50% LSAT of 149 with 256 matriculants; part-time 75% LSAT of 148 with 131 matriculants)
Toledo - 31 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 123 matriculants)
Touro - 121 - (Total 50% LSAT of 148 with 242 matriculants)
Valparaiso - 81 - (Total 50% LSAT of 149 with 163 matriculants)
Vermont - 42 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 171 matriculants)
W. New Eng. - 27 - (Total 25% LSAT of 147 with 108 matriculants)
Western State - 36 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 144 matriculants)
Whittier - 64 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 196 matriculants; part-time 50% LSAT of 149 with 31 matriculants)
Widener - 124 - (Full-time 25% LSAT of 148 with 154 matriculants; part-time 50% LSAT of 149 with 67 matriculants at campus A; total full-time 50% LSAT of 149 with 106 matriculants at campus B)
William Mitchell - 23 - (Part-time 50% LSAT of 149 with 47 matriculants)
Wyoming - 19 - (Total 25% LSAT of 149 with 77 matriculants)
TOTAL: 5261
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
ScamMadness 2014: Round 1!
FIRST of all, several readers have brought to my attention that some website called "Above the Law" is running a March Madness-style tournament to determine the "worst" law school. Regardless of whether they copied the idea off of my annual attempt to find a ScamMadness Champion First Grand Supreme, I am flattered that they're doing roughly the same thing I am, only with a fraction of the MADNESS.
SECOND of all, let the games begin!
The play-in/first round this year will look at...Present Applicant Limbo!
Yes, that's right, our play-in winners will be determined by which institution opened its doors the broadest for an individual non-URM applicant according to the self-reporting done at Law School Numbers for the current admissions class. Is this reliable? Hell no. It is madness? Scam on!
Roger Williams: 146/2.7
Seton Hall: 153/3.3 with numerous rejections.
Detroit-Mercy: 146/2.67
Valparaiso: 154/2.4 or 144/3.3
Memphis: 154/2.25 or 146/2.9
Appalachian: 147/2.3
Idaho: 155/3.0
UC-Hastings: Just...too damn selective.
Welcome to Round 2, and better luck next year, Seton Hall and friends.
SECOND of all, let the games begin!
The play-in/first round this year will look at...Present Applicant Limbo!
Yes, that's right, our play-in winners will be determined by which institution opened its doors the broadest for an individual non-URM applicant according to the self-reporting done at Law School Numbers for the current admissions class. Is this reliable? Hell no. It is madness? Scam on!
Roger Williams: 146/2.7
Seton Hall: 153/3.3 with numerous rejections.
Detroit-Mercy: 146/2.67
Valparaiso: 154/2.4 or 144/3.3
Memphis: 154/2.25 or 146/2.9
Appalachian: 147/2.3
Idaho: 155/3.0
UC-Hastings: Just...too damn selective.
Welcome to Round 2, and better luck next year, Seton Hall and friends.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Welcome to Scam Madness 2014: Selection Sunday, Baby!
It's that time of year again, scamfriends! As you'll recall, last year Florida Coastal dominated the South region and then triumphed over upstart surprise Willamette in a riveting final of scamtastic wit after Willamette shocked juggernaut Thomas Cooley in the Final Four's opening round.
This year promises to be an even BETTER tournament, just as each law school class inevitably triumphs over its peers both intellectually and financially, at a rate of anywhere between 20-40%.
Rules: As you'll recall, LSTC makes the rules and has sole discretion over the rules. Each round, the contestants are evaluated on criteria relevant to flim-flamming stupid lemmings. Single elimination, yada yada yada. This year, we're adding four "play-in" games. We're also setting a rule that schools can only have one entry, so Cooley and Widener will be limited to one region.
NOW FOR THE BRACKET.
Play-In:
Seton Hall v. Roger Williams
Detroit-Mercy v. Valparaiso
Memphis v. Appalachian
UC-Hastings v. Idaho
EAST REGION
1 Brooklyn
16 Suffolk
8 Touro
9 American
4 Albany
13 Cardozo
5 Vermont
12 Roger Williams/Seton Hall
2 New England
15 Baltimore
7 Villanova
10 Liberty
3 Western New England
14 Drexel
6 Widener
11 Quinnipiac
MIDWEST
1 Indiana Tech
16 Valparaiso/Detroit-Mercy
8 Arkansas-Little Rock
9 Depaul
4 Case Western
13 Chicago-Kent
5 Penn State
12 Michigan State
2 Thomas Cooley
15 University of Chicago
7 Oklahoma City
10 Hamline
3 Duquesne
14 Capital
6 John Marshall
11 Ohio Northern
SOUTH
1 Florida Coastal
16 Stetson
8 Florida A&M
9 Barry
4 Regent
13 William & Mary
5 Liberty
12 Washington & Lee
2 Charleston
15 Elon
7 Jones-Faulkner
10 Texas A&M
3 Charlotte
14 John Marshall
6 St. Mary's
11 Appalachian/Memphis
WEST
1 Thomas Jefferson
16 Idaho/UC-Hastings
8 McGeorge
9 Lewis & Clark
4 Whittier
13 Santa Clara
5 UC-Irvine
12 Golden Gate
2 Arizona Summit
15 Alaska Summit
7 Denver
10 Wyoming
3 Seattle
14 Southwestern
6 California-Western
11 Western State
Best of luck to the participants!
This year promises to be an even BETTER tournament, just as each law school class inevitably triumphs over its peers both intellectually and financially, at a rate of anywhere between 20-40%.
Rules: As you'll recall, LSTC makes the rules and has sole discretion over the rules. Each round, the contestants are evaluated on criteria relevant to flim-flamming stupid lemmings. Single elimination, yada yada yada. This year, we're adding four "play-in" games. We're also setting a rule that schools can only have one entry, so Cooley and Widener will be limited to one region.
NOW FOR THE BRACKET.
Play-In:
Seton Hall v. Roger Williams
Detroit-Mercy v. Valparaiso
Memphis v. Appalachian
UC-Hastings v. Idaho
EAST REGION
1 Brooklyn
16 Suffolk
8 Touro
9 American
4 Albany
13 Cardozo
5 Vermont
12 Roger Williams/Seton Hall
2 New England
15 Baltimore
7 Villanova
10 Liberty
3 Western New England
14 Drexel
6 Widener
11 Quinnipiac
MIDWEST
1 Indiana Tech
16 Valparaiso/Detroit-Mercy
8 Arkansas-Little Rock
9 Depaul
4 Case Western
13 Chicago-Kent
5 Penn State
12 Michigan State
2 Thomas Cooley
15 University of Chicago
7 Oklahoma City
10 Hamline
3 Duquesne
14 Capital
6 John Marshall
11 Ohio Northern
SOUTH
1 Florida Coastal
16 Stetson
8 Florida A&M
9 Barry
4 Regent
13 William & Mary
5 Liberty
12 Washington & Lee
2 Charleston
15 Elon
7 Jones-Faulkner
10 Texas A&M
3 Charlotte
14 John Marshall
6 St. Mary's
11 Appalachian/Memphis
WEST
1 Thomas Jefferson
16 Idaho/UC-Hastings
8 McGeorge
9 Lewis & Clark
4 Whittier
13 Santa Clara
5 UC-Irvine
12 Golden Gate
2 Arizona Summit
15 Alaska Summit
7 Denver
10 Wyoming
3 Seattle
14 Southwestern
6 California-Western
11 Western State
Best of luck to the participants!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
It's US News Rankings Time!
March is my favoritest time of year. Springtime is around the corner. Lemming applications come flying in along with the return of the birds from the tropics. And America's Second Foremost Ranking Authority(c) issues the all-determinative rankings that determine who is better than whom.
(Also: Scam Madness is around the corner!!!)
My lesser lemming tends to move up several spots when my news feed fills with delicious articles such as these:
"FSU Law School ranked #1 by US News and World Report" (...in Florida!)
"UH law school continues to rank among best in country" (...even though it's ranked 100th and dropped 20 spots!)
"US News & World Report: Hamline University Best Private Law School in Minn." (someone tell Cooley to open a campus there, stat!)
"Duquesne Law School Jumps Significantly in U.S. News Ranking" ("Last year, Duquesne placed among top-tier law schools for the first time in a decade. This year, Duquesne jumped up to the 121st spot, shared with seven other institutions, including DePaul University in Chicago.")
"Wayne State law school makes surge in national rankings" (from 105 to 80-something; also: "University of Detroit Mercy School of Law and the Thomas M. Cooley Law School, which has campuses in Ann Arbor, Auburn Hills, Lansing and Grand Rapids, both are in a second-tier group")
"The Sandra Day O'Connor College of Law at Arizona State University Ranks Among Top Institutions in Annual U.S. News & World Report Rankings" (...it's 31st and "is among the nation's premier law schools").
FAVORITE DISSENT
By far, my favorite dissenting opinion about The Holy Rankings comes from Chapman dean Tom Campbell, whose impressive reasoning goes as follows:
“It puts a substantial amount of weight on what percentage of law school graduates have jobs,” he said, adding that since 2009 attorney jobs in California have been falling, even as more attorneys are being hired nationally.
“Chapman graduates look for jobs in California,” he said.
“It's unfair to all California law school graduates that (the U.S. News survey) does not take into account the employment situation in the state.”
I've heard a lot of complaints about the US News Rankings over the years, but this one gets a prize for novelty of scamdom. California schools - or those in any depressed state - should actually get a credit in the rankings if the local economy sucks and fewer students can acquire jobs. Meanwhile, this would, of course, suggest that law schools in states with a burgeoning economy should be handicapped.
Although on the surface this seems backwards, batshit crazy, and completely unsupportable under any system of objective thought, I kind of like it. No one goes to law school for a job, after all, and if it's relatively easy for graduates to get jobs, the poor quality of a school may be masked, while an excellent school in a depressed region may be overlooked with undue emphasis on its students' massive debts and food stamp collections. I mean, it's a 40-year career we're preparing for, and surely those students graduating into depressed economies aren't suffering any educational disadvantage as a result.
Think of it this way, skeptics: Yale would still be a great law school even if it moved to the Yukon. So naturally Chapman is as good of a law school in depressed California as it would be in a booming economic area, such as Chicago or Washington D.C.
So yeah. Stop being mean to law schools because they dump graduates into over-saturated markets, US News. That's just unfair. Consider how crappy the local market is and give a bump to those schools who are able to kick ass in spite of their graduates not being able to land jobs in the only locations where most of them are legally or practically limited to work.
Friday, March 7, 2014
Millenial Badasses: We're Changing for YOU
I've never read the bastion of great thought and literature that appears to be sitting at Ozy.com, and boy have I been missing something. The "online newsmagazine for the change generation!" has brought forth this splendid article from Alabama professor Montre Carodine:
"Millenials," after all, aren't just complaining because the economics of law school are whack, and these charging reformers will keep complaining WHEN (not "if") traditional legal jobs "return." Of course, you could also make law school cost-efficient regardless of jobs available. (Look up, smile, Pause for laughter!!). Anywho, there's something deeper that law schools have to hit on to appeal to these ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changin' badasses.
Law schools could learn a lot from millennials. And frankly, they are already schooling us. They forced us to take notice by not applying for admission, harshly critiquing us on blogs and creating their own law school rankings. Some dissatisfied graduates have even sued their law schools for fraud in reporting job statistics (oh, the irony). They are some badasses. And they’re not about to change. Even when traditional law jobs return, we will still have a fundamental problem educating this generation (and their kids) as they become increasingly skeptical of the value of higher education.Insights like this are why Alabama is lucky to have this scholar of such law review articles as Street Cred. (from the abstract: "I propose that communities call for and legislatures implement a moratorium on the admissibility of certain types of law enforcement testimony in communities with strong levels of distrust of the police.")
"Millenials," after all, aren't just complaining because the economics of law school are whack, and these charging reformers will keep complaining WHEN (not "if") traditional legal jobs "return." Of course, you could also make law school cost-efficient regardless of jobs available. (Look up, smile, Pause for laughter!!). Anywho, there's something deeper that law schools have to hit on to appeal to these ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changin' badasses.
Imagine if law schools had some of that millennial swagger, the confidence that bucks tradition and ventures out in order to move forward. How do we get there? By getting out into the real world.SAY IT AINT SO. Are law schools going to hire people with more than three-years of practice experience? Please, dear God, no! Maintain purity!
The solution is to send the policy makers — the tenured professors — into the real world. Doing so would breathe new life into our curricula and enhance our scholarship (even if fewer research leaves translates to less scholarship, what we do produce would be far more relevant and impactful). “Experience sabbaticals” funded by our schools (if necessary) to work in corporations, small businesses, law firms, nonprofits or government agencies should be normalized to give us fresh perspectives on the world that our students will face.
Phew! That was a close one. I thought she was going to say law schools need to hire people who actually have a decade of experience in the vulgar trenches of actually practicing law and know what real problems lawyers face without the future need of a "sabbatical." Law professors taking a sabbatical to go work at an exciting start-up or nonprofit, government agency, or even a choice law firm sounds like a great way for law professors to present the illusion that they're getting the experience they probably should have had before being offered a tenured faculty position in any rational set-up.
I've slipped into dreamland. Law professors will easily slide in and out of prosecutor positions, big firm litigation roles, in-house counsel positions, and nonprofits year in and year out, fully illustrating to their unemployed graduates that it's really easy to grab a cushy job if you're networked in and have possible school funding. And everyone in the private sector will gladly welcome law professors taking the most interesting and engaging legal work so that they can teach students who will never, ever do similar work. And clients will obviously be greatly helped by having a law professor swoop in for a 9-month period with the Midas touch of the prestigious academy.
Thank you, millenials, for being such badasses that law schools were forced to innovate and come up with such ideas in order to court you and your precious funding. We're making it better for you and your generation, even if our professors have to go out at work grueling 40-hour weeks at interesting legal jobs on your student loan dimes to make you happy.
We're here to please, kids. We really are.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
The Day the Music Died
Larry Mitchell, a shining beacon in the darkness of legal education being swallowed in the sudden swift vortex of a trans-global economic catastromeltdown, has resigned.
You have won a skirmish, you oafs. You will not win the war.
And let us not forget Mitchell's Triumph:
You have won a skirmish, you oafs. You will not win the war.
Mitchell, who had been dean since 2011, said in a letter to the university that "Upon thorough reflection, I have concluded that I cannot return to my job as dean with the same energy and enthusiasm that characterized my earlier service. At this point, it is in the best interest of the law school for me to step down as dean. I will retain my position as a tenured professor and continue to seek to serve the school however I can."Uh, by serving as a tenured professor and sacrificing the $2M/year he'd make as an InstaPartner at Jones Day, he's already doing a great noble service.
And let us not forget Mitchell's Triumph:
For at least two years, the popular press, bloggers and a few sensationalist law professors have turned American law schools into the new investment banks. We entice bright young students into our academic clutches. Succubus-like, when we’ve taken what we want from them, we return them to the mean and barren streets to fend for themselves.
The hysteria has masked some important realities and created an environment in which some of the brightest potential lawyers are, largely irrationally, forgoing the possibility of a rich, rewarding and, yes, profitable, career.
Emphasis added for those of you who question the silk-sheet reality in which most attorneys roll. In certain parts of America, they pour a 40 oz. beverage out for a fallen comrade. I learned that during the Wills and Estates week of Law and Urban Sociology. As a filthy-rich lawyer, I don't have 40s; I just have bottles of triple-figure wine. But I *can* pour on 40k of student loan debt.
Consider it done. Godspeed, Dean Mitchell.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Top Ten Places Desperately in Need of Law School
The recent post about Tacoma possibly getting a new law school set-up made me wonder what other American cities are in need of a law school. Take heed, budding law deans, capitalists and state legislatures, the following ten cities are RIPE for a profitable, public-serving college of law to attract top-notch legal talent and produce even topper-notched legal talent!
1. GREENVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA
Greenville, South Carolina, has around 1.4 million people. NO LAW SCHOOL. The state only has two law schools, and both are in cities of much lower population closer to the Atlantic. There is no ABA-accredited school of law within a 90-minute drive of this metro area. How the hell does anyone get a lawsuit filed in that part of the state?!?!?! While the legislature is fielding questions about taking over College of Charleston, they should also be demanding a law school. Clemson School of Law would instantly be prestigious and Furman Law Center would fit nicely with Elon. Or maybe South Carolina State could open a law school branch there for a public HBCU option. But for the love of all that's holy, end the legal anarchy in Greenville and get that town legally educated.
2. ROCHESTER, NEW YORK
Unenlighted people complain that New York has too many law schools. Even if this were true, most of them are concentrated in the New York City metropolitan area. Did you know that the ENTIRE "upstate" New York area only has four law schools? Between Cornell, SUNY-Buffalo, Albany, and Syracuse, they can't quite cover the needs of such a broad swath of real estate. The loser is Rochester, which has over 1 million people, a booming industrial sector dating back over a century, and NO LAW SCHOOL. The closest school is over an hour a way. I think the University of Rochester School of Law could fill this void nicely, and hopefully with lots of international law classes to fill the sorely needed gaps in Trans-Lake Ontario legal relations.
3. FRESNO, CALIFORNIA
Did you do a double take?! I sure as shit did. You hear the trolls talk about California being "saturated." Uh, hello? There's no ABA-accredited law school within a metro area of around 1.1 million. It's at least a two hour drive to the closest ABA-approved legal education route. THINK OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO MOVE. NO LAW SCHOOL. As UC-Irvine has shown, there is a huge demand for public legal education in California. This one's easy: Fresno State College of Law.
4. EL PASO, TEXAS
Not only is El Paso over a million residents in the metro area, it's a metro area that crosses state lines AND international lines. How is there NO LAW SCHOOL in such a perfect location? How are filings being made and wills being drafted? How do corporations merge and whatnot? For this one, my solution is a joint effort between UTEP, New Mexico State in nearby Las Cruces, and Universidad Autónoma de Ciudad Juárez just across the river. We'll call it the Intertransnational Universidad de Law.
5. CHATTANOOGA, TENNESSEE
900,000. Three-state metro area. No ABA accreditation for at least 90 minutes. Christ on a pogo stick, how do you people live with yourselves? How do you fill the void in the fabric of social life? How does it feel when you're brain-drained of legal talent to Knoxville and Nashville and Atlanta while your city starves for legal services? NO LAW SCHOOL. FIX IT. And pssst... UT-Chattanooga Law School just rolls off the tongue, Tennessee legislature.
6. SARASOTA, FLORIDA
NO LAW SCHOOL. It's an hour to Stetson and over an hour and a half to Ave Maria. There's almost a million people in this combined statistical area who likely all suffer from the relative dearth of legal talent, a world where no one can divorce or settle a claim. Solution: Manatee School of Law. Sponsors and investors needed.
7. MCALLEN/BROWNSVILLE, TEXAS
Tons of people here, most of which are legal. And yet another area where opportunities for the application of international law are inescapable and yet NO LAW SCHOOL. The University of Texas-Pan American is right there. Pan American School of Law. Public, private, who gives a flip, just build it and teach the lemmings and lemmingos.
8. WICHITA, KANSAS
Washburn is in the state capital, Topeka. University of Kansas is near Kansas City. What's missing? Oops - we forgot the 700k metro area in the middle of the state without any viable legal education options. What gives, yo? How the hell are the rural areas of western Kansas supposed to stay lawyered up when their talent is brain-drained all the way to the Missouri border? Two solutions to this NO LAW SCHOOL NIGHTMARE: Wichita State School of Law and/or Friends Law School.
9. MOBILE, ALABAMA
They need lawyers on the gulf, but you wouldn't know it since there is NO LAW SCHOOL from New Orleans to Tampa otherwise. Alabama is lawyer-starved, and Mobile seems like a great place to add one. It's nonsense that these people have to move two hours to get the sweet and savory taste of law. The University of Mobile is Baptist-affiliated, and we need more Baptist-affiliated law schools. Mobile College of Law should be born.
10. RENO, NEVADA
Reno has 500k+ in a growing state. But alas, UNLV remains the only law school in the entire state. NO LAW SCHOOL anywhere else. That's neglectful. This city is a secondary epicenter of gambling law and sorely in need of additional legal education. Let's put one at the University of Nevada School of Law.
1. GREENVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA
Greenville, South Carolina, has around 1.4 million people. NO LAW SCHOOL. The state only has two law schools, and both are in cities of much lower population closer to the Atlantic. There is no ABA-accredited school of law within a 90-minute drive of this metro area. How the hell does anyone get a lawsuit filed in that part of the state?!?!?! While the legislature is fielding questions about taking over College of Charleston, they should also be demanding a law school. Clemson School of Law would instantly be prestigious and Furman Law Center would fit nicely with Elon. Or maybe South Carolina State could open a law school branch there for a public HBCU option. But for the love of all that's holy, end the legal anarchy in Greenville and get that town legally educated.
2. ROCHESTER, NEW YORK
Unenlighted people complain that New York has too many law schools. Even if this were true, most of them are concentrated in the New York City metropolitan area. Did you know that the ENTIRE "upstate" New York area only has four law schools? Between Cornell, SUNY-Buffalo, Albany, and Syracuse, they can't quite cover the needs of such a broad swath of real estate. The loser is Rochester, which has over 1 million people, a booming industrial sector dating back over a century, and NO LAW SCHOOL. The closest school is over an hour a way. I think the University of Rochester School of Law could fill this void nicely, and hopefully with lots of international law classes to fill the sorely needed gaps in Trans-Lake Ontario legal relations.
3. FRESNO, CALIFORNIA
Did you do a double take?! I sure as shit did. You hear the trolls talk about California being "saturated." Uh, hello? There's no ABA-accredited law school within a metro area of around 1.1 million. It's at least a two hour drive to the closest ABA-approved legal education route. THINK OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO MOVE. NO LAW SCHOOL. As UC-Irvine has shown, there is a huge demand for public legal education in California. This one's easy: Fresno State College of Law.
4. EL PASO, TEXAS
Not only is El Paso over a million residents in the metro area, it's a metro area that crosses state lines AND international lines. How is there NO LAW SCHOOL in such a perfect location? How are filings being made and wills being drafted? How do corporations merge and whatnot? For this one, my solution is a joint effort between UTEP, New Mexico State in nearby Las Cruces, and Universidad Autónoma de Ciudad Juárez just across the river. We'll call it the Intertransnational Universidad de Law.
5. CHATTANOOGA, TENNESSEE
900,000. Three-state metro area. No ABA accreditation for at least 90 minutes. Christ on a pogo stick, how do you people live with yourselves? How do you fill the void in the fabric of social life? How does it feel when you're brain-drained of legal talent to Knoxville and Nashville and Atlanta while your city starves for legal services? NO LAW SCHOOL. FIX IT. And pssst... UT-Chattanooga Law School just rolls off the tongue, Tennessee legislature.
6. SARASOTA, FLORIDA
NO LAW SCHOOL. It's an hour to Stetson and over an hour and a half to Ave Maria. There's almost a million people in this combined statistical area who likely all suffer from the relative dearth of legal talent, a world where no one can divorce or settle a claim. Solution: Manatee School of Law. Sponsors and investors needed.
7. MCALLEN/BROWNSVILLE, TEXAS
Tons of people here, most of which are legal. And yet another area where opportunities for the application of international law are inescapable and yet NO LAW SCHOOL. The University of Texas-Pan American is right there. Pan American School of Law. Public, private, who gives a flip, just build it and teach the lemmings and lemmingos.
8. WICHITA, KANSAS
Washburn is in the state capital, Topeka. University of Kansas is near Kansas City. What's missing? Oops - we forgot the 700k metro area in the middle of the state without any viable legal education options. What gives, yo? How the hell are the rural areas of western Kansas supposed to stay lawyered up when their talent is brain-drained all the way to the Missouri border? Two solutions to this NO LAW SCHOOL NIGHTMARE: Wichita State School of Law and/or Friends Law School.
9. MOBILE, ALABAMA
They need lawyers on the gulf, but you wouldn't know it since there is NO LAW SCHOOL from New Orleans to Tampa otherwise. Alabama is lawyer-starved, and Mobile seems like a great place to add one. It's nonsense that these people have to move two hours to get the sweet and savory taste of law. The University of Mobile is Baptist-affiliated, and we need more Baptist-affiliated law schools. Mobile College of Law should be born.
10. RENO, NEVADA
Reno has 500k+ in a growing state. But alas, UNLV remains the only law school in the entire state. NO LAW SCHOOL anywhere else. That's neglectful. This city is a secondary epicenter of gambling law and sorely in need of additional legal education. Let's put one at the University of Nevada School of Law.
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