Sunday, February 16, 2014

American Dream Available Here

Occasionally, law administrators consult with me about ways to juice up the lemming harvest.  Normally, I charge 750/hr for my expertise, although I give a discount if the law school can pinpoint a student whose tuition money is being used to pay me.  In any event, this one's a freebie.

Two words:  undocumented immigrants.

Law schools have evolved nicely in the field of taking lawyers from overseas and selling them on LLMs that are so versatile you can use them on interstellar dust clouds.

But consider recent developments in California.  Here is an article about an undocumented immigrant in California who has recently gained the privilege to practice law and fill the desperately-under-served legal community in California.
“We’re all in search of the American dream, of making that American dream a reality, and all of you are going to do it,” said Sergio Covarrubias Garcia... 
On Feb. 1, thanks to a ruling of the California Supreme Court, Garcia was sworn in as a lawyer, the first undocumented immigrant allowed to practice law in California... 
The state court’s decision opens the door to other undocumented immigrants to become lawyers. “Perhaps some of you want to go to law school. And now I am happy and I am proud to tell you that door is wide open for you,” said Garcia, as students in the audience cheered.
Welcome, friends!  Or, shall I say, [upside down exclamation point]bienvenidos, amigos!

Meanwhile, elsewhere in California, minorities are finding racial problems at UCLA.
Legal training is, for some, one of the best pathways to financial success in a capitalist society.  For African Americans, legal training means much more, since it is so directly linked to our ability to fight for fundamental rights.
Indeed.  Obviously, there's a need for a greater proportion of minorities in America's law schools.  Lord knows white people just won't stop being special snowflakes, so if we really want to ratchet up minority presence in our law schools, it might be high time to look to other places to supplement the domestic pool of minorities.

The solution to these problems is simple.  Now that citizenship is not really necessary to practice law here, we need to open up the gates for everyone across the world.  There are all sorts of wonderful foreign peoples that our law schools can saddle with law degrees.  Just bring 'em in by the plane-load and say they're "undocumented" and have been there for twenty years!  Law schools, to date, have been not nearly aggressive enough in tapping this potential market.

"Why, that fine group of fifty 23-year old Botswanans living in my boathouse?  Oh, they're all cousins and their grandmother brought them over when she came to work as a housekeeper for the previous property owners and the paperwork was lost in a terrible fire.  And yes, they ALL want to go to law school."

The possibilities here are only limited by the finite bounds of Earth and the imagination of law school administrators.  And by assisting everyone with a college degree to gain an America-style legal education, law school administrators would be bolstering their claim of literally helping to bring justice to every corner of the world.  Just like Superman.


  1. That won't work: they're not eligible for loans guaranteed by Uncle $ugar, and most of them won't have the wherewithal to pay the law skules' fees in cash on the barrelhead.

    I was going to suggest that the law skules go after people who are mentally incompetent. From the looks of the LSAT scores, however, it appears that they've already been doing that for some time…

  2. I have faith the elites will find a way to provide funding for qualified candidates. After all, if there are people who want to be lawyers here, why should we not make a wise investment in their future?

  3. La Raza will undoubtably be able to work out something with Uncle Sugar, however such federal loans should only be available for law schools in Texas, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, California, and other territories wrongfully stolen from Mexico in 1848, after they assumed control of land that was being misappropriated from native american populations who originally occupied these lands. This must be a thoughly P.C. operation.

    1. La Raza is presently in the process of repossessing these territories without firing a single shot.

  4. LSTC what about undocumented aliens? As in extraterrestrial beings? Is there no need for intergalactic justice and diversity? Forward thinking institutions already have academic foundations in Space Law?

  5. I don't understand the hysteria. I mentioned, on my blog, the following, which I want to share with you all here, and it is something I also posted on Fernando's blog (which he probably censured by now):

    An article that recently appeared on the Huffington Post, written by Professor
    Brian Leiter, under the title: "American Law Schools and the Psychology of Cyber-Hysteria" had a nice little piece to add about the scambloggers and their constant drama:

    "In one case, an umemployed law school graduate has taken to posting photos of excrement next to law schools he deems unworthy of existing (most!) and then denounces law school faculty (by name) as "pigs," "cockroaches" and "pussies." In another case, a lawyer in Chicago, a man in his mid-40s, has devoted hundreds of hours to blogs and chatrooms where he ridicules law review articles mainly by minority and female law professors -- so far, under a pseudonym, though one victim of his harassment has filed an ethics complaint with the Illinois Bar."

    The "unemployed law school graduate" was our friend Fernando Rodriguez (and I just loved how the author linked to the story instead of the TTR blog LOL.)

    No mention of JD Painter, who may be disappearing from the movement altogether.

    1. Agreed Infinity. These guys even claim to have something to do with the drop in law school applications and faculty layoffs, which everyone knows is just part of a natural economic cycle

    2. I dissagree 6:11. This is not a 'normal economic cycle', whatever that means, as the market seems to be slow, brutish, and monopolistic; but in conjunction with accelerating decreases in law degree value, the scam bloggers have encouraged the ABA and corporate news to cover this tragedy. I would assume tens of thousands of potential students also have been steered clear from law. I'm not even a law grad, but a equally scammed pharmacy grad turned teacher. The law school movement and my own experience has induced me to discourage students to attend law (and allied health fields which are quickly catching up to law in grad saturation).

  6. THIS: "Why, that fine group of fifty 23-year old Botswanans living in my boathouse?"

    You made me howl with laughter! Thank you. I needed that.