Charlotte Law - that would make for an excellent character name for a femme fatale in a satirical noir, would it not? - is experiencing the ultimate anti-Christmas. Instead of the childhood fantasy, it's living the adult nightmare: grumpy, yogurt-eaters in blue suits taking presents away from productive adults.
Find ye your tissues and violin:
The Education Department on Monday said Charlotte School of Law can no longer receive federal loans and grants for misleading students about their chances of passing the bar and its shaky accreditation with the American Bar Association. [still not common law or statutory fraud, you shiftless dipsticks! - ed.]On the positive side, Charlotte now gets to find out first-hand how well the free market understands the mathematics of the million dollar premium. $48.5 million is nothing; you can easily find that sum when said investments will reap $300 million plus in economic benefit. Now, Charlotte Law has an opportunity to prove the Simkovic-McIntyre Theorem.
In the 2015-2016 academic year, the law school enrolled 946 students who received about $48.5 million in federal student aid, primarily federal student loans, according to the department
Still, it is disappointing that the federal government would cease investing in a high-yield asset, at Christmastime no less. The fine students at CSOL - and the American taxpayer - deserve better.
In a way, Charlotte Law recalls another Christmas legend in America: Charlie Brown. It's not popular, the effective law school equivalent of a bald elementary school student who can't simultaneously claim to have leukemia. But it tries so hard that you just can't help love its effort despite its total loserdom. It deserves a break.
I say let's celebrate this bent twig of a Christmas tree delivered to Charlotte Law. Deprived of any reasonable possibility of commercialism, Charlotte Law will now have to learn the true meaning of law school: to educate, to lead, to justice.
I guarantee you there were mouths agape in Charlotte this morning, and not just at Bank of America's headquarters. At CSOL, they probably weren't singing Hark! the Herald Angels Sing! But in time, they see this devastating Scrooge-like insult as cause to pull itself up by its law school bootstraps and prove to the world that a great law school, providing value to students, can thrive without a dime of federal "Santa Claus" money.