Friday, August 19, 2016

Personals Ad: Getting Arizona Summit Laid

Source.

Doesn't Arizona sound like a good name for a quirky, slightly unhinged pixie chick, the type who bangs you and makes lemonade afterwards while whistling the theme from Star Trek, but then suddenly redacts all the female names from your book collection to dissuade you from getting any forbidden ideas?  By extension, does Arizona Summit not sound like yet another could-be sex worker name gracing box covers or introducing herself in a seedy bar?

Now that Arizona Summit is seeking a university life partner, she might need a little assistance.  We here at the LSTC have put together the following personal ad:
Feisty HPV-ridden 11-year-old legally-aged institution of scam higher learning seeks attractive accredited, older university system for LT sugar daddy companionship. Must be unaffiliated and love children as I have hundreds who are un- and underemployed making the world better. Love diversity, but must have cash cash cash. Work as overpriced prostitute prestigious arm of national financial company. Hobbies include pegging clients with a baseball bat education and social justice.
...or something along those lines.

Oh, and also Summit is going to suddenly require all of its students to pass a mock bar exam to even graduate from law school, which is just the sort of innovation that legal education critics have been asking for.

3 comments:

  1. So, like California requires students at this fine institution to pass a Baby Bar, Arizona Summit will require a mock bar exam? Yowzers! Why don't they just pack up and move to CA and become a CBA school?

    Also, any university that would merge with this turd deserves to have its own accreditation revoked.

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  2. At least the Baby Bar is set by the California Bar Examiners. The pigs at Arizona $ummiTTTT will operate this mock bar exam for their waterhead students.

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  3. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingAugust 21, 2016 at 8:33 AM

    Arizona Summit aka Phoenix School of Law is owned by Sterling Partners, a for profit private equity group out of Chicago. It is only about one thing. Cash, United States currency. How is this going to work?

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