Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The Fort Wayne 21 Gun Salute

In its role as Poet Laureate of the law school counter-scam movement, the LSTC offers the following somewhat hastily written poem in celebration of Indiana Tech's inaugural graduation ceremony.

They came, their mettle second to none.
Oh! behold the mighty twenty-one!
Midst smoke and haze of Campos's craze
aimed true, their entry scores did amaze.
Highly recruited, through snow and sun
landed in Fort Wayne, brave twenty-one.

They inked their notes and trudged through the camp
with firmness no god or mortal tamp.
"No lawyer jobs," defamers did say.
Peers and a dean, lost along the way
yet like Sisyphus pushed up the ramp
spurred by gold-bar Sergeants Dre and Lamp.

No drill.  No three-year hibernation.
Those twenty-one have found their station.
Their blood to justice yields libation
ready to flood the legal nation
with Socratic skill, flare, elation.
To them we owe great veneration.

On the dais comes each steely-eyed one
their career wicks burning, almost done
their lawyer minds hardened by the school
cocked to launch under a black-letter rule
indebted deeply inside each gun
Oh! behold the mighty twenty-one!


  1. This meter, this rhyme
    It's gotta stop
    Vintage verse is a turd
    That needs to drop
    So write the veneration
    In Socratic hip hop

    1. rappin' shit while countin' dimes
      at the corner office desk
      no need for hip hop rhymes
      when you got the burlesque

    2. 1:21 v. 4:46

      Your words are shitty and kinda weak
      Some might say they even reek
      And they can't hide your obvious flaw
      You ain't down with the hip hop law

      Hip hop law, hip hop law
      muthafucka ain't down with the hip hop law

      See, Life's a bitch and law's a sample
      Let me give you an example
      There's shit you smoke and shit you snort
      But take my shit and that's a tort
      Steal a car? Gotta fence it
      Perpetuities? There's a Rule against it
      And you can't sell when you should devise
      Shelly's case is no surprise

      Hip hop law, hip hop law,
      You gotta get down with the hip hop law

      Let's go back to the 21
      You gave them praise for what they've done
      But 21 will regret
      That 21 are deep in debt
      They have to work from dawn to dawn
      They have to feed Dean Satan's spawn
      While their's is starving, that's no maybe
      'cause hip hop law won't feed that baby

      Hip hop law, hip hop law,
      who got fucked by the hip hop law

      My rhymes are clean, my words are true
      LSTC now it's over to you.

    3. Hey LSTC, in the hip hop poem I just submitted, I'd like to change the line near the end from

      "Who got fucked by the hip hop law"


      "You gotta get down with the hip hop law"


  2. Excellent verse all around.


    "...there's many reasons why they chose Indiana Tech.
    One of them being a low tuition cost and the attention they receive from teachers.

    The law program has a three to one student-teacher ratio which means the students have a very intimate experience with faculty and staff and they're not competing with other students for time with their professor.

    What's also unique to Indiana Tech is what they call an experiential curriculum, which means students gain real life experiences that are comparable to a second year attorney."

    Yep, "intimate" is the word I would use, all right, but probably not the way the writer intended.

    As for "experential," well, we've all heard that canard before...

    1. For details of that "very intimate experience with faculty", see Lamparello's memoirs.

  3. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingApril 28, 2016 at 2:27 PM

    You guys is poets that don't know its.....You are Longfellers........ You guys moved my world.

  4. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingApril 28, 2016 at 9:28 PM

    "Intimate experience with faculty." So, Kinko the Clown teaches Contracts?

  5. When Tech scammed one and twenty
    It thanked the ABA
    For clowns, unsounds, and dummies
    too fool to stay away.

    Take wealth away from rubes, see
    But keep your conscience free
    So Tech scammed one and twenty
    It sold a scam degree.

    1. 'Tis true. Brilliant.

    2. "Forward, centurions!
      Noble Arthurians!"
      Though student loans mounted
      Skyward aplenty:
      Theirs not to make reply,
      Theirs not to reason why,
      Theirs but to do and die.
      Into the valley of Debt
      Rode one-and-twenty.