Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Response to Vermont Law School Request for Public Comment

Vermont Law School is being evaluated for the NEASC, its regional accreditation body.
Vermont Law School invites the public to submit comments regarding the institution as part of a New England Association of Schools and Colleges (NEASC) evaluation.
You've got until March 23 to submit comments to the contact information on the link.

But why wait for such an obvious answer?  Here's the basic LSTC public comment regarding Vermont Law School, with descriptive phrases, adjectives, and verbs underlined so readers can simply copy the form and change the positive-vibe-y words for themselves!

Vermont Law School is a/an _excellent__ institution that _assists__ its graduates by providing them a/an _orgasmic and valuable_ legal education for a _ relatively modest_ tuition price.  The average Vermont graduate is _set___ for life because in exchange for that __check that - insanely low__ tuition price, those _brilliantly clever_ students receive __life-changing_ skills such as _thinking like a lawyer_, __dressing like a lawyer__, and _drinking socializing like a lawyer_.  With these __totally necessary__ skills in their arsenal, VLS graduates are _gently placed__ onto the American legal marketplace, which is _always desperate for more and better justice warriors in the unending battle for social justice that just won't stop no matter how many lawyers we pump out because these evil corporations keep hiring lawyers or something__.  Once there, new VLS lawyers learn that _a significant number of them (that's not actionable, is it?)__ of them are employable in full-time legal jobs that typically earn somewhere between _models___ and __bottles___.  _Multimillion-dollar_ degrees, indeed!  For those who _voluntarily decline_ to work as a _commodore__ in the _royal navy_ of _liberty on the high seas of jurisprudence__, the world is their oyster as the Juris Doctor is _the most versatile degree in the history of degrees including a master's degree in fucking versatility_.  Simply put, the world needs more law degree holders like it needs _more waterbeds! everyone loves a waterbed!_.  Even among all the _certainly not cancerous mole-like third and fourth tier_ law schools in the United States, VLS is extra special because it is __the only school in an entire heavily populated state with a border that must be guarded - immigration law!__ and offers excellent programs in _shit that makes you think of Bernie Sanders - GO BERN!_.

Accreditation is important for law schools, as it proves the administration is capable enough to place a sheet of paper in just the right place for a rubber stamp to fall atop it.  It's a very fine art.  Please help VLS by submitting a comment about VLS's value as a civic and educational institution in the justice-desperate northeast.


  1. "Public comments must address substantive matters related to the quality of the institution."

    Half the class won't get a JD-required job, and with a 147 bottom LSAT quartile many will have trouble passing a bar.

  2. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingFebruary 18, 2016 at 8:29 PM

    I guess Ben and Jerry and UNDERSERVED!

  3. At what point will the ability to physically pass a bar without stepping in for a drink, and a TTTTT law degree, result in a law license?!?!

    1. Considering the penchant that lawyers have for the sauce, schools would still struggle with their bar passage rates.