I'm rapidly approaching my third year of covering the noble and heroic deeds of America's legal educators, who stand at the forefront of defending the Rule of Law in not only the United States, but the Local Cluster.
Still, occasionally I am amazed at the new feats that law school administrators manage to develop. Like kooks in moldering labs, they continually experiment and evolve the science of generational academic dream exploitative profit maximization.
Consider Touro. Touro "accidentally" sent acceptance emails to numerous students "by accidentally drawing from a database of prospective students." Because if an "accidental" email is going to be sent to a random group of email addresses, it might as well be prospective students from that year's database...
I'm not saying they did this on purpose, but neither did the dude who invented Teflon. Human psychology being what it is, we tend to like those who like us more. When I was 16, a girl told me she liked me. Sure, now she's got three kids with five different guys and lives in a dilapidated trailer park listening to Carly Rae Jepsen and collecting food stamps like they're Inverted Jennys, but you know what? I still think that door is open.
When Touro "accidentally" tells prospective students that they've been admitted, even in "error," it's cracking that door ajar, planting that seed in their tiny little barrister brains that Touro has positive connotations and is receptive to their unique blend of 150 LSAT and mouse to click through prom note. Touro likes you, kids, so you should apply, be admitted, make a million dollars, have a collection of snifters.
I see no reason this approach can't have significant applications in the dating world. Why, it just so happens I have the email addresses of 1034 comely young lasses between the ages of 18 and 25 neatly organized in a prospective blah blah blah database. All I have to do is open the wrong window, run the wrong program, select the wrong batch of email addresses, or make some other completely ludicrous and unbelievable technological mistake and - wuh oh! - it looks like I just sent the entire group a message congratulating them on acceptance into my prestigious penthouse dungeon harem. Sure, none of them have actually applied, but a few might send in a seat deposit...or I could them a seat deposit...the possibilities are endless! And it's all because my prestigious penthouse dungeon harem is a really cool place that leads to all sorts of successful things and maybe, just maybe, they'll come to realize that it's a good option after all after I express my desire for them to attend.
Now I send them an email that it was an honest mistake. They will respect me for my frankness, and honestly they'll apeciate the kind of straightforward manner in which I told them of my decision unless I'm a real jerk or a cry baby...which I'm not because I'm a lawyer.
My snifter is clutched. Time to reel in the fishes...
What they did is the same thing that inexperienced newbie, desperate solos do. They purchase the names and addresses of arrestees from the Circuit Clerk's office and send out mass solicitations. It is sick. Some of these defendant's already have attorneys and will question their attorney's fee structure based on that mass mailing. Us seasoned solos know a good client comes from a referral network and tell a client that experience matters and that I know what I am worth...these newbies make me ill.
ReplyDeleteFirst time reader, and then: "When I was 16, a girl told me she liked me. Sure, now she's got three kids with five different guys and lives in a dilapidated trailer park listening to Carly Rae Jepsen and collecting food stamps like they're Inverted Jennys, but you know what? I still think that door is open."
ReplyDeleteSubscribed.