Monday, June 8, 2015

To Every Problem There is a Solution: LPO Legal Residency for All!

It isn't true that to every problem, there is a solution.  Or, maybe there is a solution, and it just isn't a palatable one.

But we don't need to discuss that issue here.  Law schools have many problems, and stalwart Deborah Rhode is quick to point them out when she can summarize them in book form and have Oxford University Press put it onto a grateful marketplace.  It appears to be the latest addition to the well-dusted bookshelf that includes Tamanaha's Failing Law Schools and dozens of courtesy copies of a law review edition that no one has ever read.


Capitalism is a natural solution-creator.  As some libertarian college sophomores explained it me, the free market naturally destroys that which is bad and builds up that which is good, simply because at the root of all capitalist transactions is consumer will.  You, reader, for example, go to the grocery store.  When you buy a grape, you're not just saying that you're in a queer state wanting that vague wine flavor without the alcohol, no, you're also saying that you support the free-est possible trade with central and south America and that, if necessary, you would support an armed invasion of any country who threatened to jeopardize our precious supply of eating grapes through domestic regulation.  Also, you're most certainly in favor of the FDA expanding the definition of "grape" to items that are 70% grape or more and definitely support hybrid Frankenseeds that are pesticide-resistant if you buy non-organic, which you will, you cheap ass.

That's called "voting with your feet," and if you kick yourself in the ass, it's your own damned problem.

I raise all of this because the wonderful laboratory goons at United Lex have come up with a perfect solution to every problem that ails the legal sector!
 ULX has recently extended its collaborative hand to law schools, teaming with an initial group of four highly regarded institutions across the country (Emory, Vanderbilt, University of Miami, and Ohio State), to provide post-graduation jobs, training, and critical contemporary practice and leadership skills for more than 100 of their law graduates.  Each partnership between UnitedLex and the law school works the same way: ULX and the school agree to create a “legal residency program” populated by graduating students (Bar licensure is required) who serve a two year hitch working for and training under ULX.

The program channels medical residency where young doctors receive intensive clinical training from experienced physicians and “learn the ropes” of clinical practice and patient care. ULX legal residents are paid between $55K-$70K (overtime and other variables account for the spread) receiving rigorous training, then engaging in client work under the supervision of ULX’s senior lawyers.  The training and work focus on: litigation management, e-discovery, cyber-security, technology, patent licensing, intellectual property management and immigration law.  Senior attorneys from ULX as well as faculty from the participating law schools provide the training.  The law schools socialize the program to their donor base; this “marketing” is intended to generate new ULX business opportunities for which the law school is compensated.  The bulk of the law school’s revenue funds scholarships and defrays tuition costs.
It's win-win-win-win.

Did you know that Emory, Vanderbilt, OSU, and Miami were "highly regarded?"  They are!  And they'll be even more highly regarded now that they're shipping ~25 students each to do legal residencies.  Sure, their graduates used to nab $160k jobs all the time.  But, you know, lawyers don't learn shit in two years at a large law firm, even while paying down their massive debts.  So these second-tier schools score a huge win for their students by locking down 55k bar required jobs.

The students get a huge win, having secured employment for two years, and then what I'm absolutely sure is a dynamite credential on the resume when they look to transfer to a private firm doing cyber security or intellectual property law.  Surely, the traditional law firm community will welcome with open arms people who spent two years with intense practice experience in a legal process outsourcing center.

For its 55-70k, ULX can tap a "top tier talent pool" for cheap and then build an army of ex-employees who are out there saving the world and viewing LPO as a positive.

Clients, of course, have the benefit of an excellent legal process outsourcing company to use.  Obviously, the customer wins.

And did you see where ULX is having schools "socialize the program to their donor base?"  My god, I love the lingo.

Large legal process outsourcing company reduces what it sees as inefficiencies in the legal marketplace to create short-term, moderate-wage residencies for 100 speecial graduates. 

Gee, I don't see anyone who loses here.  We should just build 100 companies like ULX.  Lawyer saturation problem solved.


  1. End the law school scam. Keep at it people

  2. "...faculty from the participating law schools provide the training."

    I hear the whistle of another Faculty Gravy Train and another way for the law students to become indentured.

  3. Leave it to the marketplace to confirm what the scamblogs have been saying for years, and the Law School Cartel vehemently denying for the same time period:

    "Law students face an unholy Trinity of problems: (1) crushing debt from the high cost of their education (the average law student graduates with six-figure debt from law school alone); (2) a harsh job market; and (3) lack of “practice ready” skills upon graduation and licensure.

    Law schools are confronting: (1) dramatic declines in applicants; (2) intense fiscal pressure — once profit centers, they are now supplicants of their parent University; and (3) a growing consensus that material curriculum reform, particularly more practicum training, is necessary."

    Maybe the Cartel will finally listen now that industry is talking. Although, I imagine that money talks more, e.g. "(2) revenue stream (ULX has already stroked six-figure checks to law school partners in consideration for facilitating new business opportunities);"

    Yep, there has certainly been a lot of "stroking" going on.