Thursday, January 16, 2014

...And Syracuse Takes the Prize

I don't know what prize, but this should win something:
Syracuse’s Class of 2016 is nearly 25% smaller than its Class of 2014, decreasing from 255 to 196 over two years. The law school’s director of admissions, Nikki Laubenstein, spoke to the campus newspaper about the enrollment trend and offered this take: 
“Our smaller class size is strategically managed and planned to provide the optimal level of engagement for our students with our law school faculty and programming opportunities,” she told the Daily Orange in an article published Wednesday.

I'm awestruck.

Nikki, you ever come to the Center, there's a golden barstool with your name on it and drinks are on the house.


  1. Well, yeah, Nikki could have ended the sentence at "managed" and made her point. But then everybody would have been unsatisfied, like a kid going to bed after a bland dinner and no dessert, or a lawyer going to work without his or her Xanax. We need the extra flack words to signal that there is no need to think.

  2. So they "strategically" cut their class size, which must have cut into their income considerably. Yet they went ahead and started building a huge shiny new law school building early last year.

    So according to them they pre-planned a move which will cut their income, and yet also committed to spending a truckload of money on fancy new premises. Must be some kind of complex scheme that will only make sense in hindsight.

  3. Yes, Syracuse University Commode of Law "strategically cut" their enrollment by 25 percent, in the same way that I have "strategically" decided not to ask out Salma Hayek. In both instances, we both know that we could succeed beyond all measure. However, we choose not to do so.

    The schools continue to lie through their teeth. It is beyond pathetic, at this point.

  4. "....Our smaller class size is strategically managed and planned to provide the optimal level of engagement for our students..."

    So the previous classes were paying tons of money for a much, much less than optimal level of engagement? If attending law school were like dating, did the previous students not make it to first base?

  5. Strategically planned to keep the place out of bankruptcy for another year or two.