Saturday, October 27, 2018

Arizona Summit Gets Blast-Mined

I met a traveller from an Arizona land,
Who said—“A vast and empty cadaver
Lay in the desert. . . . Near it, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered Justice lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
Shaped well by the old Socratic Method;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
'My name is ARIZONA SUMMIT LAW SCHOOL;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

Well, you finally did it, you caustic maniacs.  Arizona is back to two law schools, regressing the state's legal educative process to the hellscape of 2004. 

Everyone suffers.  Students have one less place to blow through hundreds of thousands of dollars in the worst way possible.  Arizona is deprived a key production facility for budding shitlawyers.  The bar examiners will see a massive drop in retakers.

But alas, some people can't restrain their selfishness.  That, my friends, is how empires fall.

The survivors will, as always, scam on. Let's sip somma that top-shelf booze 'n' remember the good times:


1 comment:

  1. Nice, but the scansion and the rhyme are both defective: you need iambic pentameter, with the rhyme scheme ABABA CDC EDE FEF. Let me suggest an improvement:

    I met a traveller come from Phoenix land,
    Who said—“The corpse of a demented clown
    Lies in the desert. . . . Near it, on the sand,
    Half sunk a shattered Justice lies, whose frown,
    And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
    Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
    Which yet survive in this proud heap of offal:
    The feint Socratic, and the bloated head;
    And on the pedestal, these words appear:
    'My name is ARIZONA SUMMIT LAW SCHOOL;
    Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
    Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
    Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
    The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

    It still doesn't quite work: I just can't think of a rhyme for "law school". Then again, some of Shelley's rhymes were also imperfect.

    ReplyDelete