Sunday, July 29, 2018

Chicago Finally Has a Public Law School and It's a Damned Good One

Congratulations, America's perennial bronze medal city, you finally have a public law school (not counting the glorious one in Dekalb, which is more of a tourist attraction than a part of the city).  Better late than never, so to speak. 

The University of Illinois-Chicago and the highly ranked John Marshall Law School are merging, benefiting pretty much everyone.
  • Prices will drop precipitously to a spitball estimated $35k in addition to a low cost of living amount.  That's a bargain for lawyers who can expect to make $180k/year upon graduation.
  • UIC will expose John Marshall students to other areas "to give law students a better understanding of how law works with other disciplines," particularly those where UIC is world-renowned.
    Dickerson said she forsees [sic] the law school expanding offerings in three key areas that are strengths for UIC — intellectual property, health sciences and law and public policy.
  • The impeccable national reputation of UIC will dramatically boost the quality of JMLS applicants (“While we were not a financially distressed school; we were seeing reduced applications and credentials,” [JMLS Dean] Dickerson said. “UIC is on the rise and should help expand our application pool.”) just like other famous private-public mergers like WMU-Cooley, now the 2nd-best law school in America.
  • Illinois taxpayers will reap the pleasurable benefits of supporting a 4th public law school, joining residents of states like Ohio and Florida in providing public solutions to the unfortunate lawyer gap, which persists despite all objective evidence to the contrary.  Dire straits or not, kleptocracy or plutocracy aside, investing in legal education is a must.
Enjoy the spoils, you big shouldered steel-and-iron erectors.  While other locations face law school impotence (heya Phoenix, you torrid 6th-rate layover city), Illinois just installed a champagne hot tub on the weakest link in its rock-solid Million Dollar Express, which is thumpin' along, just as Carl Sandburg wrote in 1914 that Chicago was a "Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler."  Baby, in 2018, the city's carrying capital-B capital-J Big Justice on its intangible golden tracks.  May you be blessed enough to catch some of the sparky shrapnel upon your unworthy face.

Scam on.

4 comments:

  1. I worked in Chicago for two years in the mid-80's, at which time the established, almost universally recognized pecking order of the city's six law schools was U of Chicago, Northwestern, Loyola, DePaul, Marshall, Kent. The top two, of course drew students and placed graduates from and to locations far and wide and thus didn't factor into the local competition. At that time, Marshall seemed to be nipping at DePaul's heals, and was known to be the school of choice for the politically connected but academically ungifted. Over the years and watching from afar it seemed that Kent overtook Marshall and then DePaul while Marshall sank lower and lower. I didn't grasp the whys and wherefores at the time but in the clear light of hindsight I think Chicago served as a sort of a Petri dish to test the viability of independent toilets. The results are in, and now Illinois joins a growing number of states wherein the independent toilet has gone the way of the dodo.

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    1. Maybe the last phrase should more appropriately end "... the way of the doo-doo."

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  2. Why stop there, thou bankrupt state of Illinois? Make a bid for Valparaiso, just over the border, before a toilet school in Tenne-mother-fucking-ssee beats you to the punch. Take over the Cooley chain of über-toilets. Spoil your reputation to the point that the U of Chicago decides to move to a shit pit like Phoenix.

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    1. Seriously. Goes to show the relative value of JMLS vs. Valpo, which is a mere stone's throw away. Lots of people in Porter county commute every day to Chicago, so, NBD...have to believe Valpo was banging on UIC's door long ago.

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