You're likely back at law school now. You've begun a three-year suborgasm and a forty year super-orgasm. In three years' time, most of you will be starting jobs as BigLaw lawyers, federal prosecutors, or judicial clerks.
At the same time, you're already behind, if only by a hair.
Look at this SuperLawyer in the making!
Now [Aaron Parnas] is entering George Washington University Law School at age 18, with hopes of one day becoming president.Yeah, remember when Donald Trump graduated from college at 18, snapped his fingers, and headed to law school inspired by the example of... JFK, I suppose?
Parnas told Law.com that he has wanted to go into law school since he was about 10 or 11 years old, though he didn’t know what kind of law he wanted to practice. He volunteered in Donald Trump’s election campaign, and the election spurred his interest in a political career. “I felt like law school was the perfect stepping stone to that goal,” he said.
It'll be just like that.
I don't bring up our li'l' Doogie Howser here to discourage you all, but you should probably get used to the fact that law school (and lawyering, and life) is a massive pyramid scheme competition and if you don't know where you're at on the pyramid, you're a bottom bitch slave.
The Good News is that even lawyer slaves make it rich and happy. Law school, with its focus on appellate law and reading cases from the 1920s, doesn't really prepare you for the euphoria of satisfaction with leaving work at 7:30 on a Friday after billing 60 hours in a week. But trust me, it's real, and way better than the stressful torpor these sadistic professors put you through.
Given how little law school matters in the grand scheme of things - we all buy our liquor from the same shelves, friends - you should really just enjoy yourselves. Eurotravel, fine dining, Adderall, disgraceful self-pleasure - whatever your recreation of choice, just go nuts. Borrow from Uncle Sam and pay it back it back later.
But remember a few ground rules:
Dean Nicholas Allard gave the final speech, confessing to the class that he might not understand their generation, but he urged them to take care of each other and “play well in the sandbox.”Have a good time, bros 'n' ironic hos. When you're fully cooked and members of the bar barely standing, we'll see you in court...in a good way.
Before concluding the ceremony, he offered them a piece of modern-day advice, to “stay woke.”
P.S. - ProTip: When in the sandbox, remember that it often gets in places you may not want.