Friday, September 9, 2016

Federal Trademark Office Joins Conspiracy Against Low-Tier Law Schools

Regular readers of this blog - all fourteen of you - will recall that South Texas College of Law has recently changed its name to Houston College of Law, which sparked consternation and a lawsuit from the University of Houston Law Center, a Brahman institution that claims some sort of monopoly on Houston-named law schools.

Now the US Patent and Trademark Office has joined the cockblocking party against a third-rate law school suddenly changing its long-held ame to confuse the marketplace in a desperate attempt to attract metaphorical maggots to a metaphorical lump of decaying severed leg:
While the newly named Houston College of Law awaits a judge's ruling in a federal lawsuit filed by crosstown rival the University of Houston Law School, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has officially suspended the application for a special logo featuring the scales of justice with the new name designed for the new school.
Pardon me for invoking traditional ideas that resonate in certain racist parts of the south, but what right does the federal government have to get in the way of lower-ranked law school shenanigans to lure in local applicants?  Go read Gibbons v. Ogden and tell me this is fair and Constitutional.

Besides, as Houston COL's lawyers recently argued, law applicants aren't stupid enough to fall for the confusion that Houston COL is trying to create:
Houston College of Law argued . . . that law school applicants were savvy enough to figure out which school was which, even if they were initially confused
Who cares if "savvy" means "it dawns on them the third week of classes?" As we know from the law school fraud lawsuits, it doesn't matter if law schools attempt chicanery upon their applicants, because in their applicants they have found a happy medium between being just dumb enough to fall for the sweepstakes but barely smart enough to figure it out.

Really, reformers want law school to be this bland thing where a rational number of applicants gains a cost-effective education and then most of them have respectable careers, but god damn, is it not way more fun this way?  Are you not entertained by the endless innovation?

Someone just needs to get the memo to the feds.  I juts hope when Arizona Summit changes its name to Lawyer College of the Sun Belt that they don't have to face this red tape.


  1. Captain Hruska Carswell, Continuance KingSeptember 11, 2016 at 8:56 AM

    My unemployed lawyer buddies and I talked about opening up a law school---What a gig!!! We would simply charge $1000.00 per semester and hold class in our living room. If we could get even 100 students to sign up, that would be 50K large each just for reading Palsgraff to them. Yell at them a little too.. That 50K is good coin these days for a Solo schmoo lawyer like me.

    1. Captain, I would avoid opening up a law school as you will have all sorts of regulators, not to mention other TTT grifters, up your ass. Instead, open up a certificate granting institution for legal studies certification, e.g., Certificate in Legal Studies with a Specialty in "X". The "X" could be Health Care Critical Care Law, or Porn and the First Amendment, or anything really with the words "Strategy" or "Leadership" (Legal Studies Certificate with a Specialty in Porn Leadership and First Amendment Strategy works as does Strategic Porn and First Amendment Leadership). There will be many more qualified lemmings to belly up to the student loan bar for a Certificate which will be easy peasy as opposed to a three year+ commitment. Also, opening up a law school is so 90's. Best of luck. Let us know how it goes.

  2. A mad and doomed voyage aboard an ill-prepared vessel. The toppling of the craft by an anticipated but dreaded obstacle. All aboard perish, save one.

    I am thinking Moby Dick, but with a test of minimum competence starring as the Great White Whale and a pompous smooth-talking jet-setter whose nautical specialty is hip hop and the sea cast in the role of Ahab, or perhaps he can be renamed ahab dugong pond drownings.